


Friends With Benefits

by scarletmanuka



Category: 9-1-1 (TV), 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: Dumbass and Dumbasser, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Friends With Benefits, Happy Ending for Everyone, M/M, Pining, Set post Jinxed, Smut, The Smut Is Real, They have a plan, Unrequited Love, kind of, what could go wrong?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-02
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-14 08:41:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 25,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29789334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scarletmanuka/pseuds/scarletmanuka
Summary: What if TK and Carlos broke up after the whole 'this is my friend, TK' incident?TK is in LA for a few weeks to get away from everything back home. He texts Buck, asking if he wants to 'get together'. Buck has just watched Eddie head off on a date with Ana, final proof that he'll never get to have the relationship that he wants with Eddie so he happily agrees.But they both know that the other isn't the person that they want to be with. Dumbass and Dumbasser come up with a plan to show their true loves just exactly what they're missing out on.
Relationships: Carlos Reyes/TK Strand, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz, Evan "Buck" Buckley/TK Strand
Comments: 630
Kudos: 1044





	1. Chapter 1

Buck sank back onto his seat and looked glumly down at his now cold scrambled eggs and soggy toast. Hen, Chim, and Bobby looked just as dismayed and Buck knew that they were all thinking the same thing - when the hell were they going to catch a break? After a shift from hell (thanks, Probie), they’d just wanted to have breakfast but that was apparently too much to ask, with a nearby customer choking on their eggs benedict. They’d cleared his airway, called 911, and he’d been safely escorted off to hospital by members of the 118’s B shift. Including one very apologetic probie…

Buck sighed, feeling more dismayed than the circumstances called for. Sure, it had been a rough shift, but he’d had worse. No, what was really getting him down in the dumps was knowing that Eddie was off on a date at this very moment with Ana. He was happy for him, he was - all he wanted was for Eddie to find that special someone who would give him the love that he deserved. Buck just wished that it could be him. Unfortunately, Eddie didn’t seem interested in him in that way and so Buck was left to pine away, his affection entirely unrequited. 

Suddenly their waitress appeared at their table, her arms laden down with plates. “Here you go,” she said, replacing their old meals with new ones, fresh from the kitchen. “After saving that man’s life, we couldn’t have you settling for a cold meal. I’ll be right back out with some new coffee too.”

“That’s very kind of you,” Bobby told her, even as Chim started digging into his food, not waiting for anything this time.

“The owner is working today and he saw it all. He’s also comping your meals for you to say thank you.”

Hen looked at Buck in surprise. “Maybe our luck is changing?” she murmured. 

His phone pinged with a message and Buck absently checked the message, then paused and read it again, a smile breaking out over his face. “You know what, Hen? I think it might just be at that.”

* * *

The last thing that Buck had expected that morning was to receive a text from TK Strand. Sure, they’d been keeping in pretty regular contact ever since they’d parted ways in Texas, but it was more the _nature_ of the text that he’d not expected. 

_TK: So, I find myself unattached and in LA - you still up for getting together?_

Buck hadn't actually been hitting on TK when he’d suggested getting together if TK was ever in the area, too caught up in being head over heels in love with his best friend to make a move on someone else. TK was taken anyway and over texts and Insta posts, he’d learned that he was seeing a cop by the name of Carlos. They’d seemed pretty serious, but several weeks ago, TK had gone quiet on social media and when he _had_ started posting again recently, his posts were suspiciously lacking in a sexy boyfriend. 

Buck didn't ask what had happened, just texted back with the name of a burger joint that they could meet at for dinner. It was obvious that Eddie was moving on, and wasn’t interested in Buck, so maybe it was time for him to do the same? TK was gorgeous, and they got along well, but he was also safe in a way because after he’d finished doing whatever he was doing in LA, he’d be returning to Texas. Buck knew that up front so he wouldn’t get attached, and Buck 3.0 knew that not every date had to turn into a marriage proposal. So long as he didn't fall back into his man whore days, what was the harm in having a little fun?

When he arrived, TK was already there, and Buck had to pause to drink in the sight of him. Dressed in skintight black jeans and a crisp white button down shirt with the top two buttons popped, he looked positively sinful. If it wasn’t for the dark shadows under his eyes and the slightly haunted look, Buck would have suggested that they skip dinner and head straight back to his place. He didn't though because first and foremost, TK was his _friend_ and he wanted to catch up and be a shoulder to cry on if it would help at all. So he greeted him with a beaming smile and a bear hug that pulled TK off his feet. “It’s good to see you, man,” he said as he set him down.

TK was laughing but it felt brittle, like it hadn't been something that he’d done a lot of recently. “You too, man. Thanks for agreeing to catch up.”

TK slid into one side of the booth and Buck joined him, choosing to sit next to him, not across from him. “So, what brings you to LA?” he asked, opening the floor.

TK shrugged and picked up his menu, not meeting Buck’s eyes. “Just a vacation, needed to get away for a bit.”

“I take it things haven’t been the best back home?” Buck hedged.

A sharp, painful laugh erupted from TK’s mouth. “That’s an understatement.”

A waiter swung by their table and asked for their drinks order. “I’ll just have a coke,” Buck told him, having read between the lines of a few conversations that TK was on the wagon.

“Just a club soda for me, thanks,” TK said. Once the waiter was gone, he shifted in his seat a little so he was facing Buck. “Are you sure you wanna hear all of this?” he asked. “I made it pretty clear that I’m interested in hooking up with you, you don’t have to listen to all of my drama if you don’t want to. We can just skip to the good parts.”

Buck’s brow furrowed and he dropped his hand down to rest on TK’s thigh. “You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to, but I’m happy to listen if you need. I like to think that we’re friends, yeah?”

TK nodded. “Yeah, of course, man. Hell, you stole a _firetruck_ for me - I’m pretty sure that’s 101 of How To Make Friends.”

Buck laughed. “I’m glad to hear that you agree. I guess that makes what we’re doing _friends with benefits_ then which puts equal emphasis on the friends part as it does the benefits.” He squeezed TK’s thigh. “I’m all ears.”

TK nodded, chewing on his lip while he thought. “Okay, then - have you ever been in a relationship where you suddenly found out that you were much more invested than they were?”

Buck winced. “You just summed up my entire dating history.”

TK huffed. “Me too. Did I ever tell you the reason we left New York?”

Buck shook his head.

“I was with this guy, Alex, and I was so head over heels in love with him that it wasn’t funny. I booked us into this really fancy restaurant and got down on one knee and proposed in front of everyone.”

“I take it he didn't accept?”

TK bit his lip again and blinked rapidly, obviously holding back tears. “Not only did he _not_ accept, but he told me that he was breaking up with me because he was seeing his spin instructor.”

“Ouch.”

“Yeah, it wasn't a great time. I’d been clean for a while but I ended up ODing. My dad got our crew and broke down my door, and they had to resus me.”

“Holy shit, I’m so sorry,” Buck said, and he removed his hand from TK’s thigh and slid it around his shoulder instead. “That sounds rough.”

TK leaned into him and nodded, his head resting on Buck’s shoulder. “My dad had been offered the 126 so he moved us both down there, hoping it would be a new start for us both. And it was - I finally found my place, you know? And Carlos, man, I thought he was the one.” He chuckled sadly. “It took me so long to let him in, I fought him every step of the way but apparently he thought I was worth it. I finally got my shit together and gave him a chance and things were so good.”

“Pretty serious?” Buck said, echoing TK’s words from their parting in Texas.

“I thought so,” TK said, “but then we ran into his parents while we were out one day and he introduced me as his _friend._ I was absolutely devastated but after I spoke to my parents, my mom said some stuff that made me think, so I went to talk to him. He told me that his parents had been accepting of his coming out but have never acknowledged it since then and he didn't want to ‘rub their faces in it’. Apparently he didn't want them to know that Carlos had somebody who loves him.” He sniffed, and hid his face against Buck’s chest. “It just made me feel like I was invisible, you know?”

Buck thought of how Eddie had left the station with a skip in his step that morning for his date with Ana; how Buck had been there for him through thick and thin, helped with Christopher, spent more time at their place than he did his own, would do _anything_ for them but at the end of the day, he still wasn’t what Eddie wanted. He still wasn’t enough. “Actually, I do. I really do.”

The waiter returned with their drinks and asked if they wanted to place their food order. TK shrugged so Buck just ordered two of the house burgers and fries, and another two sodas for them.

“So, is it Eddie?” TK asked once they were alone again.

“Was I that obvious?” Buck asked.

“A little, and by a little, I mean a lot. It’s clear you’re in love with him, dude.”

“Yeah, well, I guess even if he figured it out, he’s not interested. He was out on a date this morning with one of Christopher’s old school teachers and she’s drop dead gorgeous, so I never stood a chance.”

TK sighed and leaned even further into Buck. “I don’t get it - we’re both nice, good looking guys, who are both kick ass firefighters. How the hell can we not get the men we love to love us back the way we deserve?”

Buck drained the rest of his coke. “No clue.”

“Maybe they just haven’t realised what they’re missing out on?” TK suggested.

“How do you propose we get them to figure it out? Plaster it across a few billboards and hope they see it?”

TK shrugged. “Why pay for ad space when Insta is free?”

Buck frowned. “What are you suggesting?”

TK tipped his head up to look at Buck and said, “I’m in town for two whole weeks - wanna spend them doing our best to show Carlos and Eddie exactly what they could be having if they got their heads out of their asses?”

He had to laugh. “Isn’t that the plot to numerous bad romantic comedies?”

“Eh, maybe? I had to get the idea from somewhere.”

“So just to get this straight - we document our hookups while you’re in town and hope like hell that it makes them so jealous that they come crawling back, begging to take you back, in your case, or start something, in mine. All the while, not falling for the traditional rom com trope of falling for each other in the process?”

TK nodded. “Yep, that’s pretty much it.”

“And if it doesn't work?”

“Then we get two weeks of spending time with a friend with the added benefit of really epic sex.”

Buck thought about and then nodded. “You know what? Sounds exactly like something that Dumbass and Dumbasser would do. I’m in.”

TK grinned up at Buck and he couldn't help it - he curled his palm around TK’s cheek and leaned down and kissed him, sealing their deal.

* * *

As soon as the door closed behind them, Buck had TK pinned against it, their lips crashing together. TK looped his arms around Buck’s neck just as large palms grasped his ass and soon he was easily being lifted, his legs slotting around Buck’s hips easily. The kiss was hot and raw but thrumming underneath it was also a sense of loss. Both of them knew that they weren’t the person the other really wanted, yet they’d chosen to take comfort in each other. If TK couldn’t have Carlos’ strong arms wrapped around him, holding him close and simply _being there_ in the moment, then this was the next best thing. The eyes that gazed down at him were an electric blue, not the deep, warm brown that he’d grown to love, but that could be remedied by closing his eyes and refusing to think of Carlos.

Dammit, he was thinking about Carlos.

He let his head tip back and thump against the door, and Buck latched on, sucking a stinging bruise to the hollow of his throat. The last hickey that he'd gotten from Carlos had faded weeks ago and as he’d stood in front of the mirror each morning, watching it disappear, his hope that Carlos would change his mind also faded. 

He’d not been proud of his actions, but after they’d spoken, TK had given Carlos an ultimatum - if they were together, then they didn’t hide from _anybody._ He wouldn’t be someone’s dirty little secret, he wouldn’t participate in a lie. He didn't expect Carlos to invite his parents over to dinner or to even tell them immediately, he just expected that the next time they bumped into them, he was introduced as his boyfriend. Given that that might not happen for months and months, he hadn’t thought that he was asking too much.

Apparently he was.

It had hurt, more than the break up with Alex ever had, knowing that he wasn’t important enough for Carlos to fight for. That he was so easily discarded. He hadn’t thought that he had been unreasonable, and he sympathised with Carlos, he really did, but his mind had continued to spiral and he couldn't help but wonder who else Carlos conveniently forgot to tell that he had a boyfriend. The hot new cop who transferred in and liked to flirt with him? The guy at the bar who stood a little too close when ordering drinks? 

He had to stop that. He’d _known_ that when they were together, Carlos wouldn’t have cheated on him, but it was one thing to know that when you could shout to the world that you were together, and another thing entirely when you were introduced as ‘my friend, TK’. But none of that mattered now, did it? They’d broken up, hadn't spoken in weeks, had evaded each other when their paths crossed at work. Of course, TK wasn’t above torturing himself so he’d not unfollowed Carlos on social media, and if he religiously checked his feed throughout the day for signs that Carlos was moving on? Well, that was no one’s business but his and Instagram’s. 

Of course he’d noticed that Carlos hadn't unfollowed him either.

He was pulled from his thoughts when he realised that he was being lowered onto a bed and he blinked, looking around curiously. Buck hovered above him, a knowing smile on his face. “You got a little lost in your head there,” he said, and then pulled the covers up to TK’s chin.

“Wait, what are you doing?” he asked, throwing the blanket off of him.

Buck raised a brow. “I’m putting you to bed, so we can _sleep.”_

“But what about our plan? You know, the epic sex?”

Buck sighed and lay down next to TK, cupping his jaw gently. “You were so out of it, so in your head, that I wasn't going to keep going. You weren’t really in the mood to consent.”

TK winced. “Sorry.”

Buck leaned in and kissed him gently. “No need to apologise. I get it, it’s hard.”

TK reached down and found Buck’s cock, and groped him through his jeans. “Looks like something else still is too,” he said with a smirk.

Buck chuckled. “Yeah, well, you’re hot as fuck, it’s pretty easy to get hard when you’re around.”

TK pushed him until Buck was on his back and then he swung his legs over Buck’s thighs to straddle him. “You’re hot as fuck, too, Buck.” He reached down and undid the button on his jeans and then his zipper. “I want you, I really do. This is me, consenting all the way. Now take off your damn pants.”

Buck laughed again, and the sound made TK’s heart hurt just a little bit less. He may not be Carlos but they were friends, and Buck had already proved that he wasn't going to treat him like a piece of meat. He was safe with him, safe to have a little fun with, to let off a little steam. Safe to conspire with to get their men.

Buck lifted his hips and shimmied both his jeans and his briefs down until he could kick them off, and then reached up and stripped his shirt off over his head. Once he was done, TK looked down and tried not to drool. Buck really was gorgeous. He was also different enough to Carlos that there was no way that TK could simply close his eyes and pretend that he was somewhere else, with someone else. Buck didn't deserve that and really, neither did he. 

TK moved down Buck’s legs, dropping kisses along his torso and biting lightly at his hips, until he was face to face with Buck’s cock. It was the biggest that TK had ever seen in person and just sucking the head into his mouth had his jaw stretching wide. He heard Buck gasp from above and then fingers were twining into his hair, scratching at his scalp, keeping a point of contact. He licked around the crown, lavishing attention on the sensitive nerves of the frenulum, then pressed his tongue into Buck’s slit, tasting him as precome gushed out.

He lost himself then, but not to the past, but in what he was doing in the here and now. Buck’s cock was perfect and TK was hard and throbbing himself from having it in his mouth. He pushed up on his knees so he could reach down and scrabble with the fastening of his own jeans. He cursed as he tried to shove them down his hips, annoyed that he’d chosen his most skin tight pair for the evening. Eventually he had to concede defeat and he pulled off Buck’s cock so he could scramble off the bed and get rid of the fashionably offensive denim.

Buck watched with hooded eyes as TK stripped, his hand wrapping around his length and stroking lazily, the skin slick with TK’s spit. TK frowned and as soon as he was naked he climbed back on the bed and slapped Buck’s hands away. “Stop that, this is mine tonight,” he chided. 

“Yes, sir,” Buck conceded and wrapped one hand back into TK’s hair, while the other traced patterns on TK’s bare shoulder. He happily took Buck’s cock back into his mouth, pushing himself further, taking in more. Unfortunately, physics won out in the end. TK simply couldn't open his jaw wide enough to fit Buck’s massive girth down his throat, not without his back teeth causing serious damage. From the sounds that Buck was making, he didn’t seem to mind. 

It was hot, so fucking hot, and TK knew that he now had a new kink. He wasn’t overly tiny - he was 5’9 - but compared to Buck he _was._ And everything about Buck was bigger - his hands, his shoulders, his cock. TK was discovering that he enjoyed making someone so much bigger than him gasp and writhe beneath him. He was pretty sure that if Buck were to use his size and strength _against_ TK, he’d find that hot too. Well, they had two weeks - there was more than enough time for that.

His own cock was leaking pre like no one’s business and he grabbed it in his left hand, spreading the slick over his skin and pumping it furiously. Buck’s hips were jerking now, and with his right hand, TK stroked the rest of his length, fumbling a little until both hands fell into the same rhythm. 

“TK, gonna come,” Buck warned, his hips snapping up of their own accord and slamming his cock into the back of TK’s mouth. 

He didn't pull off, wanting to saturate himself in Buck, so he just tightened the seal that his lips made and swirled his tongue around the length and then he felt thick, salty fluid fill his mouth. He pulled back, swallowing as much as he could but some dribbled from his mouth and down his chin. That was enough to send him over the edge as well and he cried out as he spilled over Buck’s shins. Then his knees finally gave way and he face planted against firm abs, breathing hard.

A large, warm palm settled on his back and rubbed soothing circles there. They remained where they were, enjoying the silence until Buck finally began to move. TK grumbled and wrapped his arms around his waist, urging him to stay where he was, causing Buck to laugh. “If I don’t go and wash my legs off now, the only way I’m getting your dried spunk out of my leg hair is to shave them.”

“Would that be so bad?” TK asked, his voice muffled against Buck’s stomach.

There was a pause and then Buck said in a rather solemn tone, “The hair helps to hide my scars a little, so yeah, I’d like to keep it.”

TK had honestly not even _noticed_ the scars but it was obviously a delicate subject so he didn't say anything, just rolled off Buck and allowed him to go and get cleaned up. He returned not long after and rolled TK over, wiping him down with a warm washcloth. He’d not realised that he’d smeared himself in his own come. 

Once they were clean, Buck shoved him unceremoniously over to the other side of the bed. “I can’t sleep on the left side,” he muttered, and then he pulled TK to him, tucking him under his chin.

“Thank you,” TK murmured, pressing a kiss to Buck’s throat.

“You’re the one who gave me the awesome blow job, I should be thanking _you.”_

“Maybe you can thank me tomorrow by returning the favour?”

Buck laughed and the whole sound reverberated through TK’s body. “Deal. Night, TK.”

“Night, Buck. Sleep well.”

And they both did. In the morning, TK woke first and he couldn’t help but smile at the sight of Buck’s tousled curls peeking out from under the comforter. He grabbed his phone and snapped a photo and then, before he could second guess their plan, he posted the photo to Insta, tagging Buck in it.

 **_TK Strand:_ ** _What a sight to wake up to 😍 #adorbs #thosecurls #sexhair_

There was no going back.


	2. Chapter 2

“So, Eddie,” Hen asked as he grabbed a coffee from the pot on the counter, “are you going to kiss and tell?”

“Yeah, we want _all_ the juicy details from your date yesterday,” Chim added from where he was sitting next to Hen.

Eddie shrugged as he joined them at the table. “There’s nothing much to tell,” he told them, quite honestly. “I definitely can’t kiss and tell since there was none of that.”

Hen looked incredulous. “Really?”

He felt his cheeks redden. “Really. I was raised to be a gentleman, Hen, and that’s what I am.”

“Ooh, and here I was thinking that old fashioned chivalry was dead,” she cooed.

Chim nudged his shoulder. “So what, if you decide that you like her enough, you’ll offer to buy her from her father for two goats and a cow?”

Eddie rolled his eyes, knowing that he should have expected the teasing from his teammates. “Look, even asking her on a date was a huge step for me, I’m not gonna rush anything, okay.” He’d still been unsure if taking the leap was even a good idea after his talk with Bobby but he’d decided to try. He knew that he would never get over Shannon, that she’d taken a piece of his heart with her when she’d died, but he also knew that he couldn’t just go through life being ‘Christopher’s dad’ and not have anything for himself. 

Ana was great - beautiful, smart, and determined, but if Eddie was honest with himself, he couldn't see it going anywhere long term. He was still a little annoyed at the way she’d treated Christopher during the ‘Great Skateboarding Fiasco of 2019’ (as Buck termed it) and even if things _did_ by some chance get serious with Ana, he knew that it would be a long time before he told Christopher that he was dating his old English teacher. Something just niggled in his gut, telling him that he didn't want her interacting with Christopher until he was sure about her. 

He looked at the clock and wished that Buck would get here soon. He wanted nothing more but to sit down and talk it out with his best friend. Buck always had the best advice for him, reasoned and with his best interests at heart and he really wanted his opinion on it. 

He also wanted to make sure that everything was okay with Buck - he’d seemed a little distant yesterday. He’d been quiet when Eddie had declined to join the team for breakfast because of his meeting with Ana and he’d only responded to _one_ of Eddie’s texts, which was highly unusual. Although Eddie didn't believe in jinxes, their last shift _had_ been non-stop so maybe Buck had just been tired and was sleeping it off? If something was wrong, surely he’d know soon enough and he could figure out a way to help Buck out if needed.

He didn't have to wait long for Buck to arrive as he was soon jogging up the stairs to the loft. He had a huge grin on his face and he called out a cheerful greeting as he went to help himself to coffee. Eddie decided that Buck must have simply been sleeping the day before as he seemed even more cheerful than normal.

“Morning, Buckaroo,” Chim called.

“And what a beautiful morning it is,” Buck announced, beaming his megawatt smile at them all. 

“Someone’s chipper,” Chim said as Buck came over to sit with them.

Hen, who was browsing through her phone, made a gasp of surprise and looked up at Buck with wide eyes. “He seems to have every reason to be,” she said cryptically.

“Oh?” Chim asked.

Hen showed him her phone and Chim’s eyes bugged from his face. “No way! Is that...?”

“Yep, from Texas,” Hen said.

Buck didn't say anything, just kept his eyes on his coffee, a faint dusting of pink on his cheeks.

“What’s going on?” Eddie asked.

Hen slid her phone across the table just as he took a sip of coffee and as he took in the Instagram post on the screen, Eddie forgot how to swallow, breathing in instead. He choked, spitting the rest of his mouthful of coffee back into his cup before coughing and hacking to try and get the rest of the coffee from his lungs. Buck was on his feet in an instant, concern writ large on his face as he pounded Eddie on the back. “Hey, hey, are you okay?” he asked as Eddie finally managed to take in a breath.

“Yup,” Eddie wheezed, “I’m fine. Just swallowed wrong.”

“As opposed to Buck who seems to have swallowed _right,”_ Chim crowed. 

Hen shot Chim an annoyed look. “Really, Chimney?”

“What?” Chim asked, hands up in defence. “Isn’t that what happens when two men have hot, gay sex together?”

“Oh my God, Chim, _shut up,”_ Buck pleaded as he dropped back down into the seat next to Eddie, his whole face bright red now.

Eddie wiped his eyes, and glanced back down at Hen’s phone but the image there hadn't changed. It was a photo of Buck’s hair, just showing from under his comforter, and the caption made it clear that whoever had taken the photo had just woken up, after _staying_ the night. Even if Buck wasn’t tagged, Eddie knew it was him because he recognised the bedspread as belonging to Buck. It had only been three weeks ago that he, Buck, and Christopher had made a blanket fort in Buck’s living room and they’d used that to cover the cushions they’d made the floor from. 

He looked up at the name of the account and was glad he didn't have a mouth full of coffee again otherwise he’d be choking once more. It was TK Strand, one of the guys from the 126 that they’d worked with when they’d gone to Texas to help out with the fires. He’d known that Buck had become pretty good friends with TK but he had no idea how close they’d become. It stung a little, since he thought as his best friend, Buck would have told him, but here he was, finding out about it from Instagram of all things.

“Since when have you and TK been a thing?” Hen asked, voicing the question Eddie was thinking.

“Um, we’re not _really_ a thing,” Buck mumbled, not meeting her eye.

Hen held up her phone and pointed at it. “This kinda says otherwise, Buckaroo.”

“It’s nothing serious is what I meant,” he told them. “TK messaged me yesterday and told me that he’s in town for a couple of weeks so we hooked up.”

“Most people don’t post photos of their one night stands to Insta,” Hen argued. “This is more than casual.”

Buck finally looked up but he avoided Eddie’s gaze. “What does it matter, Hen?” he asked. “We’re both single, consenting adults who like hanging out together.” 

“I thought he was seeing some cop?” she pressed.

Buck shook his head. “They broke up.”

“Ah, so you’re the sexy, out of town rebound,” Chim said sagely. 

Buck rolled his eyes but didn't dispute this.

“Buck, I’m sorry if this is too blunt, but don’t you think this is a little too Buck 1.0?” Hen asked. “I mean, you were only telling us the other morning about how you’ve evolved yet again.”

“And? That doesn't mean that I can’t have relationships, Hen.”

“I know, sweetheart, but is that what this is? A relationship?”

“It’s an arrangement between friends.” Eddie noticed Buck glance at him before adding, “It’s not like I’ve got anyone waiting for me at home, ya know?”

“So what, while he’s in town you’ll hookup and then it’ll just stop when he goes home?”

Buck was starting to get annoyed at Hen’s questioning but Eddie was glad for her perseverance. For some reason he couldn’t find the words to participate in the conversation but he desperately wanted to know the answers. Up until this point he'd only suspected that Buck might be bi but this confirmed it. Something deep inside of him clicked into place at this but he didn't understand what it meant. 

“Geez, Hen, I’m not a blushing virgin,” Buck snapped. “Yes that’s what’ll happen. While he’s in town, we’ll have some fun together, hang out, catch up, and yeah Chim, I _do_ swallow -” he added, glaring at Chim -”and then he’ll go home and that’ll be that.” 

An image floated into Eddie's mind, of Buck on his knees, mouth wrapped around his cock, sucking down every last drop that he fed him and a full body shudder racked through him. What the actual fuck was that? Eddie had never thought about Buck like that before, so why the hell was he thinking about it now? Was it just because he now _knew_ that Buck liked to suck cock? Or was it that deep down, Eddie wanted Buck to be sucking _his_ cock?

The alarm rang, halting that thought in its tracks and Eddie was glad to shelve it for now. 8am on the way to a four car pileup wasn’t exactly a great time to be having a sexuality crisis, if that even was what this was. Maybe he was simply jealous that Buck had another friend? A friend that he shared things with that he’d never shared with Eddie.

_Like a hot load of come._

Jesus fucking Christ, he did _not_ need to be having thoughts like that right now. He grit his teeth and prepared himself for the situation the firetruck would be arriving to at any moment, getting his head in the game. He had a job to do after all. 

* * *

They ended up with back to back calls for most of the morning and it was only when they were finally pulling back into the station just after noon that he finally got Buck alone for a minute. He wasn’t sure what to say, if he should bring up TK or not since Buck still seemed a little miffed with Hen, so instead he kept conversation to something safe - Christopher. 

“Hey, you still up for movie night tomorrow?” he asked. Tomorrow was the start of their four day rotation off and they had a tradition of a movie and pizza night on the first day.

“Of course I am,” Buck said with an enthusiastic grin. “What’s Christopher picked out for us to watch this time?”

“He’s going old school - we’re going to watch _Shrek_ again.”

“Nice. He has a taste for the classics. You want me to pick up our usual order from the pizza place on my way over?”

“Yeah, that’d be great if it’s not any trouble.”

Buck clapped him on the back and was it Eddie’s imagination that Buck’s hand lingered on his shoulder? “It’s never any trouble. You know I’d do anything for my two favourite guys.”

That eased an ache deep in his chest that Eddie didn't even know that he had. He didn't think he was that much of an ass to be jealous of Buck having other friends, but he knew that deep down, he always wanted to be the _best_ friend, the one that Buck liked above all else. 

His phone chirped with a text and he fished it out to see that it was a text from Ana.

_Ana: Hey, how are you today? I was wondering if you would be interested in having dinner with me tonight? I had a great time yesterday and would love to see you again x_

He shot back a quick reply.

_Eddie: Hey! Sure, I’d love to, I just have to arrange a sitter for Christopher. I’ll let you know for sure soon._

“Is everything okay?” Buck asked, a frown on his face. “Is Christopher okay?”

Eddie gave him a warm smile, always blown away at just how much Buck _cared_ about his son. Since Eddie rarely got texts during his shift, it was only natural that Buck would jump to the conclusion that it was about Chris so he hurried to reassure him. “He’s fine, that was Ana. She wants to grab dinner tonight.”

“Oh,” Buck said, turning and busying himself in his locker. “Two dates in two days - sounds like things are pretty serious already.”

Eddie sighed. “I don’t know about that. I don’t know if I’m really all that into her, you know? Like, she’s great and so beautiful, but I guess I’m just cautious is all.”

Buck finally turned to look at him. “Because of what happened with Christopher?”

He nodded. “Yeah, mostly. I mean, I know it was Chris’s idea to get on that skateboard at school but the fact that she didn't _know_ a kid brought one?” He chewed his lip and then admitted something to Buck that he’d never even admitted to himself before. “I just don’t _trust_ her with Christopher, and I’m not sure I ever will.”

Buck was quiet, simply placing a hand on Eddie’s shoulder in support. 

“I don’t even know if I should go out with her again,” Eddie said, rubbing at his face.

“Okay, look, Christopher is important to you,” Buck said slowly, “and that’s your priority but at the end of the day, maybe you need to let go of what happened that day.”

Eddie gave Buck an incredulous look. “He got hurt, Buck!”

“I know, Eddie, but Ana was only one of the teachers on playground duty that day, looking after hundreds of kids. No one can be everywhere at once, and I know better than anyone that all it takes is a second, one single second to take your eyes off of them and then the situation’s changed.”

Eddie gasped, shocked that Buck was _still_ blaming himself for what happened during the tsunami. “Buck, no! I’ve told you, that was _not_ your fault!”

“I know that, Eds, I do,” Buck said, even though they both knew that it was a lie. "I’m just saying, maybe you need to cut her some slack for something that happened over a year ago.”

There was something about Buck’s tone that was off. The words were what he expected from his best friend but Eddie couldn’t place what was wrong with the tone. It almost felt...forced? “So you think I should go on the date with her tonight?”

Buck shrugged. “If you think she’s worth taking a chance on, yeah.”

Eddie nodded. “You’re right - maybe I’m being too harsh.” He shot him an impish grin. “So, _completely_ unrelated - any chance you’re free to babysit tonight?”

Buck looked sheepish and said, “Oh, ah, actually I’m busy with TK tonight, sorry.”

Eddie felt like he had been punched in the gut but it wasn’t because his go-to babysitter was busy and he might not be able to make his date. It was the thought of Buck spending time with TK that had caused his reaction.

Oh God, was he actually homophobic? Eddie began to panic internally, questioning why the hell he was suddenly having such an issue with this. He didn’t have a problem with Hen and Karen, nor did he with Michael and David but was that simply because he didn't spend as much time with them as he did with Buck? He’d always thought of himself as a staunch ally, but when push came to shove and he had to consider Buck being involved with another man, did he deep down actually have an issue with it?

Buck appeared oblivious to Eddie’s internal panic and he gave him a friendly slap on the back and said, “Maybe Josephina could take him?” before he was heading out of the locker room and up the stairs to where the aromas of Bobby’s cooking were drifting down to them. 

Eddie struggled with his thoughts for the rest of the day, unable to draw any conclusions about where his sudden issue with Buck seeing a guy was coming from. Pepa had indeed been free and she was happy to take Christopher for the evening but even the prospective date with Ana wasn’t enough to distract him. He brooded for the rest of the afternoon and when their shift came to an end, his parting words to Buck of, “Tell TK I said hi,” sounded insincere even to his own ears, maybe even a little condescending. Buck had looked sad, a frown on his face as he left the station and Eddie felt terrible. He needed to get his head on straight, to stop making his own issues interfere with his friendship with Buck. 

Without being able to say how he got there, Eddie found himself arriving at the restaurant where Ana was once again waiting for him. They were shown to their seats and they exchanged pleasantries, then spent some time perusing the menu. The words swam before him and Eddie couldn’t concentrate on what entrees were on offer, all he could think about was Buck and TK. Were they together already? Had Buck rushed off from his shift and right into his arms? Had they kissed each other hello, their tongues languidly sliding against each other, hands roaming under clothing? Had Buck dropped to his knees there and then? Taking TK down his throat in one swallow, his long throat bobbing as he swallowed around him? Or had it been TK on his knees, looking up at Buck with those blue green eyes, begging for more? Were they doing more than sucking each other off? Were they fucking? Who bottomed? Did Buck eagerly spread his legs for TK, arching his back wantonly and demanding to be filled? Would he make TK wear a condom or would they do it bare, TK filling Buck to overflowing with his seed until it gushed from Buck’s hole?

“Edmundo?”

Eddie’s head snapped up to find Ana regarding him with a slightly annoyed expression and he realised that she must have been calling his name repeatedly by now. He squirmed under her scrutiny and was horrified to find that he was half hard in his pants from imagining all of the things that Buck and TK were doing together. He felt his cheeks flame and he hoped that she would put it down to embarrassment for being caught up in his own head during a date. “I’m so sorry,” he apologised. “I was just worried about Christopher.” The lie slid off his tongue with surprising ease.

“I’m sure he’s fine,” she said. “You said he was with your tia?”

“Yeah.”

“Then he’ll be fine. She’ll call if there’s an issue, no doubt.”

He nodded and reached for his water. “Yeah, of course she will.”

Ana gave him a slow smile and leaned forward, putting her cleavage on full display. “I have to run to the bathroom - while I’m gone, why don’t you check your phone, make sure you don’t have any missed calls?”

He nodded, relieved that she’d bought the lie and as soon as she’d left the table, he whipped his phone out and opened up his Instagram app. He'd not looked at it for weeks and he had to wait for all of the old posts to load before he could see the newest ones. There, right at the top of his feed was a post by Buck. It was a selfie taken of him and TK and they were both shirtless. There was a hickey on Buck’s throat and a matching one on TK’s chest. Buck’s arm was slung possessively around TK’s neck and the caption read _It’s not what you do after a long day at work but who you do #fwb #lookatthiscutie_

Eddie’s appetite suddenly disappeared and he thought that he’d maybe throw up. The next morning if anyone were to ask how his date had gone, he wouldn’t have been able to tell them. He had no idea.


	3. Chapter 3

Buck groaned and rolled over in bed, picking up his phone and checking the time. “Shit, I’ve got to get going or I’ll be late to Movie Night,” he told TK.

TK mumbled a complaint and his arms wrapped around Buck’s waist, dropping down to tease his happy trail as he moved his hand lower and lower. Soon his fingertip was stroking the very tip of Buck’s dick and, in a display of superhuman endurance, his dick twitched in response. “Sure you don’t want to go one more round?” he asked, his voice hoarse from having Buck’s cock slamming into the back of his throat all morning.

Buck laughed and slapped away TK’s hand. “You’re insatiable,” he teased, and then got out of bed. “But I really have to get going.”

“You know it’ll drive Eddie crazy if you’re late because of me,” TK said.

It was tempting but Buck shook his head. “That may be so, but it’ll also upset Christopher if I’m late and I won’t do that to him.”

TK gave him a warm mile. “You really love that kid, huh?”

“Man, you can’t even imagine how much,” Buck replied, sniffing at a shirt he picked up off the floor and once he deemed it acceptable, pulling it on. “I hope you get the chance to meet him while you’re here. He’s the best.”

“Somehow I don’t think that Eddie’s gonna want me hanging out with his kid.”

Buck frowned. “Why not?”

“Because, dude - Eddie might be stuck up his own ass right now but eventually he’s gonna see how much you mean to him. He didn’t seem to like me much back in Texas, I doubt he’s gonna like me any extra now that I’m sleeping with you.”

Buck snorted. “I don’t know what you’re smokin’ down there in Texas, but Eddie has never thought of me in that way before.”

TK rolled over in the bed, the sheets tangling around his body like a cocoon. By all rights it should not have looked as sexy as it did. “He may not have _thought_ about it but that’s not to say that he doesn’t _feel_ it.”

Buck paused in pulling his shoes on. “You know that doesn't make any sense, yeah?”

“I’m saying that he just doesn't know how he feels about you yet. I saw the way he looks at you, dude. He loves you.”

Buck sat on the edge of the bed and ran a hand through TK’s hair. “It’s nice of you to say, but I’m not gonna get my hopes up too much. This crazy plan of ours is mostly to get you your happy ending back. I don’t think my story has one.”

“You might be surprised.”

Buck leaned down and pressed a quick kiss to TK’s lips. “What are you gonna do tonight?”

“I’m not sure yet - I’m still waiting to hear back from a friend who might be down to catch up over a game but otherwise, I’ll just stay in and watch it here.”

“Alright, there’s a key on the counter for you if you do head out,” Buck told him. They’d discussed it and TK had cancelled his hotel reservation, and was just going to spend the entirety of the two weeks staying with Buck. “I’ll see you when I see you.”

“Let me know how it goes,” TK called as Buck headed down the stairs. “Goodluck!”

Buck couldn’t help but smile at the weird turn of events his life had taken. He never in a million years expected to be leaving a rumpled bed mate to go and see the man that he loved, only to have said rumpled bed mate wish him luck in getting the man he loved.

Totally weird.

He got lucky with traffic after he’d picked up pizzas and he arrived at Eddie’s house right on time. As soon as he was in the door, Christopher was throwing himself at Buck’s legs, hugging him tightly. “Buck!”

“Hey little man! How are you tonight?”

“Better now that you’re here!”

“Is that because I bring pizza?” he teased.

“No!” Chris cried, throwing his head back with a laugh. “It’s because I love you!”

He tried to stop his eyes from tearing up but he wasn’t quite successful. “I love you too, Chris,” he said, dumping the pizzas on the side table and hugging him tightly. He looked up and saw Eddie watching them, a fond look on his face and he wished that it was for him but he knew that it was just for Christopher. It would be amazing if TK was right, but Buck knew Eddie better than anyone and he was pretty sure that Eddie had absolutely zero interest in him. It hurt but it was better to be realistic than to live with hope only to have his heart crushed. 

“How ‘bout I grab us some plates and I meet you boys in the living room?” Eddie suggested.

“Sounds good,” Buck said, and trailed along behind Christopher as he crutched his way down the hall.

The evening went as it normally did and a few hours later Chris was sound asleep in his bed and Eddie was passing Buck a beer before flopping down next to him on the couch. They drank in silence for a while but Buck could tell that Eddie had something on his mind. “Spit it out, dude,” he said as he took another sip. “You look like you’re gonna have an aneurysm if you don’t say what you want to say.”

Eddie huffed. “I should have known you’d know,” he said.

Buck bumped his shoulder against Eddie’s. “I didn’t get to be your best friend by collecting tokens.”

Eddie was silent for a long moment, gathering his words and finally he turned on the couch and looked Buck in the eye. “You smell different,” he said, taking Buck completely by surprise.

“Um, what?” Buck asked, his face scrunched in confusion.

Eddie frowned and picked at the label on his bottle. “You don’t smell like your normal cologne,” he said. “It’s weird.”

Buck hadn’t really noticed - his shirt wasn’t clean but he’d checked to make sure that it wasn’t rank so he lifted his arm to sniff at himself. Then he caught it. Lingering over the top of his own scent was that of TK’s cologne. “Oh,” he said, nodding, “you can smell TK.”

Eddie wrinkled his nose but didn't say anything.

Buck’s heart lurched a little, and he wondered if he was seeing things that weren’t there. Eddie looked _jealous._ “I haven’t really had time yet to do a load of washing, ya know.”

Eddie gave him a blank look. “No, Buck, I _don’t_ know. You always do your washing on your first day off.”

He shrugged. “I’ve been busy.”

“With TK?” he asked curtly.

Buck narrowed his eyes. “Yeah, with TK. Do you have a problem with that, Eddie?”

Eddie opened and closed his mouth a few times but nothing came out. He took a swig of his beer and then finally said, “I just didn't know you were so close, is all.”

“We’re not.”

Eddie raised his brows. “Sure looks it to me.”

“He’s in town for two weeks so we’re spending time together, but that’s it, Eddie. It’s not like I’m gonna pack up and follow him when he goes back to Texas.” He saw Eddie wince and his eyes widened in understanding. “Eddie, I’m not leaving LA or you and Christopher for that matter. Am I having fun with TK? Yeah, he’s a great guy and we get on really well, but it’s nothing serious.”

“I thought you weren’t like that anymore.”

“Really? You too?” Buck asked. “I expected that from Hen but not from you, man.”

“You don’t think your friends are gonna be worried about you when you start acting like this?” Eddie protested.

“Like what, Eddie?” Buck snapped, folding his arms over his chest and glaring. “Like a slut?”

Eddie’s eyes went wide. “I didn’t say that!”

“But you were thinking it.”

“No, Buck, I wasn’t.”

“Then what’s the issue?”

Eddie ran a hand through his hair in frustration. “It’s just not like you!”

Buck pushed to his feet and tried not to shout, but he didn’t succeed. “Well I’m sorry that I’m _lonely_ , Eddie. Everyone has someone - Bobby and Athena, Hen and Karen, Chim and Maddie, you and Christopher and now Ana! I’m _alone._ Everyone I’ve tried to have a relationship with leaves me so maybe I have to try something different, because no one seems interested in staying with me for the long term.” A tear slipped down his cheek and he angrily swiped it away. “Maybe Buck 1.0 had the right idea. Sure, being with a different person every night was shallow and temporary but at least I wasn’t alone. I wasn’t _lonely._ I am so _tired_ of being alone.”

“But you’re not alone,” Eddie protested, jumping to his feet and clutching at Buck’s biceps. “You have all of us!”

“It’s not the same and you know it,” Buck told him bitterly. “I am so touch starved that I’ll cling to anyone who so much as pats me on the back. But that’s all I get. I can’t just ask any of you to come to bed and just hold me. I can’t ask for the sort of casual intimacy that comes from being in a relationship. I can’t just hold your hand or kiss you anytime I want. But I can with TK and if he’ll give me all of that and more while he’s here? Then you’re damn right that I’m gonna take it. And if you guys want to judge me for it then fuck you all, because you’re not the friends that I thought you were.” He pulled out of Eddie’s grip and headed for the door, ignoring Eddie’s pleas for him to come back, to talk. The door slammed closed behind him and he couldn’t help but feel guilty as he’d most likely woken Christopher up, but he wasn’t going back, he just needed to run.

Run away from the man who held his heart, and the ache that came with that. Run away from the judgement and the teasing. Run _to_ the one who understood him. Run _to_ the one who _would_ hold him, with no questions asked, just comfort him. 

He was going to run to TK.

* * *

Carlos sat in his car, staring at his parent’s house, not wanting to go inside just yet. He’d seen them more frequently in the weeks since he and TK had broken up and although they’d seen that he was upset, they hadn't pressed him on it. That would mean actually _talking_ about feelings and that just wasn’t something the Reyes’ did. He had thought that he’d been doing okay with TK, but in the end he’d not been able to express himself like he’d wanted. TK had sat across from him spilling his heart out, and Carlos hadn’t been able to find the words to say much more back. In the end, he’d finally asked TK again if they were breaking up and TK had looked at him with pain in his eyes and had said, “It doesn't look like you’re willing to fight for us so I guess so.”

He'd left and Carlos had let him.

It wasn't that he didn't _want_ to fight for TK, he just didn't know how. He’d had a few relationships before TK but they’d never been overly serious and when they’d fallen apart, he’d been happy to let them. He’d just always been the more passive person in the relationship, happy to go along with whatever because that meant that his partner was happy. He’d never been with anyone that had hurt so much to lose before. 

The past few weeks had been filled with an ache in his chest that refused to leave. He’d lost his appetite, was lethargic, and was withdrawn from everyone. Michelle had been on his case about it but he hadn’t even felt like opening up to her and she was so busy with her new job and building trust back up with her sister that she didn’t have the time to push the issue. He was grateful for that especially given that Michelle tended to approach problems like a wrecking ball and he really didn’t feel up to being broken up and put back together again right now.

Knowing that he couldn’t leave it any longer (he’d seen the curtains twitching), Carlos finally pulled the keys from the ignition and got out of the car. The door opened before he even reached it and then his mother was pulling him into a hug. “Carlito! How’s my baby?” she asked, squeezing him tightly.

“I’m doing okay, Mama,” he told her.

“That’s got to be the biggest load of shit I’ve ever heard,” his father said gruffly from the hallway.

Carlos broke away from his mother and gave his father a questioning look. “Papi?

“Come on it, mijo, we need to talk.”

A flutter of anxiety rippled through him but Carlos obediently followed his father into the living room and took a seat on the sofa. They _never_ talked, why the hell were they doing so now? His mother sat next to him, clasping his hand in hers, and his father sat down in the armchair off to the side. He sat forward, his elbows on his knees and he simply regarded Carlos for a long moment. It was disconcerting to say the least, to be subjected to the same piercing stare that criminals faced on a daily basis. It made him squirm.

“Are you going to tell us what’s been botherin’ you, Carlos?” his father asked, finally breaking the silence.

He swallowed hard. “Nothing’s wrong, I’m fine,” he lied.

His mother tutted. “Carlito, we know that’s not true,” she said. She gave him a kind look and asked, “Did you break up with that boy? TJ?”

The air around him had turned to ice and Carlos couldn’t catch a breath. He stared in horror at his parents, eyes wide.

“I guess that’s a yes,” his father drawled.

“Oh, baby, I’m so sorry,” his mother said, leaning in to hug him again. “He seemed like such a nice boy.”

“H...h...how did you know I had a boyfriend?” he stuttered.

His father rolled his eyes. “Mijo, you told us you were gay years ago, and then we see you at a _farmer’s market_ looking happier than we’ve ever seen you, buying _herbs_ with a nice young man? I don't need forty years of law enforcement experience to be able to read that scene.”

“You didn't say anything!” he accused.

“Baby, you introduced him as your _friend,”_ his mother chided. “We assumed that you weren’t comfortable to tell us he was your boyfriend.”

“But you’re the ones who were never comfortable with me being gay!” he spluttered.

His mother looked like she was going to cry but his father’s lips pressed into a thin line. “Excuse me?” he growled. “When did we _ever_ say anything of the sort? I like to think that we were very supportive when you told us.”

“And you were,” Carlos said, unable to dispute that, “but you never mentioned it again! You never spoke of it! The next morning we talked about the new calf and that was it.”

His father didn't look impressed. “Oh, I’m sorry, were we supposed to interrogate you about your sexuality? Should I have asked you if you prefer to, what’s the term? Top or bottom? Did you feel like you wanted to share with us how many men you’d been with up to that point?”

Carlos choked in horror. “God no!”

“Then what else were we supposed to say?” His father shook his head. “We didn't make a big deal out of it because it wasn’t a big deal. We just assumed that you’d share with us anything you wanted us to know and since you didn't mention it again either, we figured that you preferred to keep your private life private.”

“Carlito, baby, surely you haven’t spent this whole time thinking that we were ashamed of you?” his mother asked, aghast.

He dipped his head in shame. “Maybe.”

“If I wasn’t so upset about how you must have been feelin’ all these years, I’d shake some sense into you, you daft boy,” she cried.

“Carlos, you listen to me and you listen good,” his father said sternly. “We ain’t ashamed of you, we never have been and we never will be. You looked so happy when we saw you with TJ that we were happy for _you.”_

“TK,” Carlos whispered. “His name is TK.”

“So what happened with TK?” his mother asked. “Why did you break up?”

He huffed out a laugh that, had it been anyone else, might have been called ‘slightly hysterical’. “Funnily enough, we broke up because I introduced him as my friend and not my boyfriend. Oh, Mama, I screwed up so bad. He tried to tell me how upset it made him but I was so caught up in being scared of you both finding out that I didn’t fight for him.”

“Do you love him, baby?” she asked.

“God, more than I’ve ever loved anyone before,” he told her.

“Then what the hell are you waiting for?” she asked. “Go to him, tell him that breaking up was a mistake, ask for a second chance.”

“What, like right now?”

“Yeah, mijo, right now,” his father urged.

Carlos jumped to his feet and planted a kiss to his mother’s cheek. “Thank you,” he whispered.

“Go, son, go get your man.”

He had no idea if TK would be on shift or not but his place was closer so he figured he’d go there first before heading to the station. It didn't take long to make the drive and soon he was knocking on TK’s front door. 

It was his mother who answered. “Hi, Mrs Stra - wait, sorry, I don’t know what your surname is. Is it still Strand?”

TK’s mom smiled and shook her head. “It’s Morgan but just call me Gwyn, Carlos.”

“Okay, uh, Gwyn.” He felt like wringing his fingers and he forced himself to hold them still. “Is TK here? Or is he at work?”

She frowned. “Do you not know?”

His heart sank. “Know what?”

“TK took some vacation time. Between your breakup, Tim’s death, and finding out that he’s gonna be a big brother, he said he needed some time to himself.”

“Oh. Wait, he’s going to be a brother?”

She placed her hand on her still flat stomach. “Yep. Trust me, it was as much a surprise to Owen and I as it was to him.”

Telling himself that he couldn’t afford to get distracted by this news, he asked, “So where is he?”

“He went to LA, Carlos. He left a couple of days ago. Said he was going to go and visit a friend there.”

“Oh, I see.”

She gave him a small smile. “Sorry.”

“Ah, no, that’s okay. I guess I’ll, uh, just see him when he gets back.”

She nodded. “He should be back Sunday week.”

“Okay, thanks.”

He drove home, deflated and let himself in to sink onto the couch. He looked around the room, and memories of all the times that he’d spent with TK there assaulted him, making him miss him more than he thought possible. Their first, frantic time together on this very couch, the countless nights they’d cuddled together watching a movie, the time that he’d waited up for TK the night that Tim had died. Then there were the few items of TK’s still lying around - a sweatshirt draped over a chair, a football magazine on the coffee table, and a pair of sunglasses on the sideboard, all of which made the longing inside of him intensify.

He wondered why TK had felt the need to run all the way to LA, and then he remembered that Gwyn had said that he was visiting a friend. Who did TK know in LA? Carlos was sure that almost all of TK’s old friends were from New York. He debated with himself for a few minutes about if he should check TK’s social media accounts or if that would be a violation of privacy. He’d respected TK’s decision to leave and part of that was not stalking him on Insta or Twitter, so he’d not even signed into his own accounts in the weeks since the breakup. Curiosity finally won out however and he pulled out his phone, opening up his Insta app.

Over the course of his career on the force, Carlos had taken his share of hits during arrests and in the training that he did to keep in shape for the job. One of the guys he trained with was an ex-MMA fighter and Carlos had come away on more than one occasion with a shiner or two. During his probationary year, he’d been thrashed to within an inch of his life when he’d stumbled across a drug deal while on patrol. Only three months after recovering from that, he’d taken another beating whilst responding to a domestic violence call. What he saw on his feed now hurt more than any of those beatings combined. 

TK was with one of the firefighters that he’d met whilst fighting the recent wildfires, some guy called Buck. He was _with_ Buck. There were several posts of the two of them with obnoxious captions depicting them in post-coital bliss. No subtlety, no hint-hint-wink-wink, not even a photo of them on a _date_ for crying out loud. Just solid evidence that they’d recently been fucking like bunnies.

TK was sleeping with someone else.

TK had moved on.

TK had replaced him.

Carlos leapt from the couch and only just made it to the bathroom before emptying the contents of his stomach into the toilet bowl. Then he slumped down onto the floor, the cold tiles a sharp contrast to the hot tears that poured down his cheeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I'm so mean to Carlos! But our boo will get a happy ending, trust me!


	4. Chapter 4

TK’s buddy from the academy, Tom, hadn’t been able to catch up but he found that he didn't mind. He was happy enough to lounge about on Buck’s sofa, a bowl of popcorn on his lap, and the game on the television. It was nice to have some time to himself but if he thought the game would distract him, he was sorely mistaken. 

He couldn’t help but check his phone every five minutes but no matter how much he hoped, there was no message or missed call from Carlos. Not that he really expected it. Even after laying his heart bare, explaining how much it had hurt to be treated like he meant nothing to Carlos, it hadn't changed anything. Carlos had just sat there, passive, not saying anything, just asking if they were breaking up. It was like he didn't care, which was frustrating as all hell because TK _knew_ that he cared. He _knew_ that Carlos loved him. So why the hell did he seem so content to just let things end between them? 

They were so different! Normally that worked well, they balanced each other nicely, but when it came to disagreements, it made it difficult. TK wasn’t afraid to lay it all out there, to unpack everything that had happened, even if that led to arguments. Carlos was the one who kept his cool, was calm and collected, was the master of introspection. But that made it difficult when they fought, because he never outright told TK what the problem was, how he was feeling, what he wanted. And this argument? This one was the one where TK needed to take a step back and Carlos needed to step up, but neither had, and then their mutual stubbornness had worked against them. Neither wanted to be the one to make the first move towards reconciliation.

TK also knew (now that he’d had some time to reflect) that this plan that he’d concocted with Buck was ridiculous and childish and would in all probability, backfire badly. He’d always been the sort to jump in headfirst and think later. Sometimes that worked out, sometimes it didn’t. But he also didn't want to back down when he knew that he had every right to be upset. Carlos had never spoken about his parents or warned TK what they were like and he’d been totally blindsided by the way that he’d been relegated to a ‘friend’ when introduced. If he’d had some warning, he would have been fine with it but instead he’d been caught completely off guard.

It had _hurt_ to have the man that he was in love with dismiss him so easily. He’d had the stupid idea that if he told Carlos that they were breaking up, Carlos would realise how much TK meant to him and he’d beg him not to leave. He'd thought that Carlos would fight for him. 

He'd been wrong and as more and more time passed, the more and more difficult it grew for him to man up and be the one to reach out. By the time he'd arrived in LA, it felt like an insurmountable task. He didn't think mere words would get him Carlos back. He felt like he needed to _do_ something to trigger that possessive streak that he knew lay beneath Carlos’ mild mannered surface. Of course, what he’d _done_ had probably gone too far. He wasn’t cheating, they weren’t together, but it was mean to rub Buck in Carlos’ face. He was being a total jerk but he wasn’t sure if he would be able to back out of it now.

His stubbornness was his biggest vice.

He stared at the television screen, not even knowing what was going on in the game, the only thing on his mind was the man that he’d left behind in Texas. He was startled from his thoughts by the sound of his phone ringing. He was hoping so badly that it would be Carlos that he didn’t even check the caller ID before he answered. “Hello?”

 _“TK, man, how you doin’?”_ Paul asked from the other end of the line.

TK’s heart sank. “Oh, hey dude. Um, yeah, I’m okay.”

 _“Mm hmm.”_ It was a classic Paul move. Vague but skeptical, enough to force the person he was talking with to want to fill the silence that followed with words.

“I mean, I’m not _great_ but I’m not _bad_ either, just had to get away for a bit is all.”

_“You know I love you like a brother, yeah?”_

“Of course.”

 _“Well, I’m gonna lay some hard truths down for you, TK, because we’re worried about you._ **_I’m_ ** _worried about you. I just want you to remember that this is coming from a place of love.”_

TK winced. This was not going to be pretty. “Uh, sure.”

 _“You gotta stop this bullshit, right now. Those last couple of posts on Insta? There’s no other way to say ths, but they’re_ **_cruel,_ ** _man. I know you’re hurting, I know you were head over heels in love with Carlos, but what you’re doing? It’s downright nasty.”_

Shame bubbled up inside of TK. Paul’s words echoed the thoughts that he had only just been mulling over but having someone else confirm them made them more real. “I know,” he said quietly.

_“What the hell were you thinking, man?”_

“I don’t think I really _was_ thinking,” he admitted.

Paul sighed. _“Seriously, TK, I actually want to know what your reasoning was. I can’t help you get your head sorted if I don’t know what mind space you were in at the time.”_

“You’re a good friend, you know that?”

 _“Flattery will get you everywhere but it_ **_won’t_ ** _get me distracted. Spill.”_

He looked up at the ceiling, trying to recall the moment in the burger joint when he’d suggested this stupid plan in the first place. “I guess I was upset and hurting but also a little bit angry. You don’t understand how _invisible_ he made me feel.”

Paul scoffed. _“Dude - you’re talking to a_ **_trans man,_ ** _I think I understand a little about feeling invisible.”_

“Okay, sorry, that’s a fair point.”

_“So what, he hurt you so you thought that you’d hurt him?”_

“It was probably a little more ‘he hurt me so I’d hurt me even more’,” he admitted for the first time.

_“How do you mean?”_

He figured that Paul was the closest thing to his sponsor right now so he ripped the bandaid off. “Paul, I’m an addict. Self destructive behaviour is kind of my thing. I had something pure and good and at the first sign of trouble, instead of trying to make it work, I ran away to do something totally self destructive.”

 _“Oh, fuck. Have you been using?”_ Paul asked, heartbroken.

“I haven’t touched any...substances,” he promised, but trailed off.

 _“But sleeping with this dude hasn’t exactly been the most healthy coping mechanism,”_ Paul supplied.

TK felt a pang of protectiveness for Buck kick in. “Not exactly. Look, Buck has been here for me, he’s _heard_ me, and he’s supported me. He’s been really damn wonderful if I’m honest. He’s just as impulsive as me though so when I suggested we post to Insta, he kind of went along with it for reasons of his own.”

 _“And what exactly were you hoping to accomplish by posting about the new man you’re sleeping with?”_ Paul pressed.

He ran a hand through his hair and cringed. “I guess I was hoping to show Carlos what he was missing. I thought maybe he'd want me back.”

_“You do know that that makes no sense, right?”_

“It did at the time.”

 _“TK, my man, if you were hurting - and you gotta know that Carlos has been hurting since you guys broke up - and then someone did something to hurt you even_ **_more,_ ** _do you honestly think that that’s gonna make you go running back to them?”_

“No,” he said in a small voice. “Look, I know I’ve been a jerk, and Carlos doesn’t deserve what I’ve done. It’s like everything’s just snowballed and I can’t stop it.” A tear leaked down his cheek. “What do I do, Paul?”

 _“First of all, delete those_ **_damn_ ** _posts and don’t post any more of them.”_

TK put the phone on speaker so he could open the app immediately and do just that. “Do you think I should phone him?” he asked.

 _“Look, I don’t know if Carlos has seen the posts or not - he seems to have been quiet on social media lately but whether that means he’s been lurking and just not engaging, I don’t know. What I_ **_do_ ** _know is that this isn’t a conversation you can have over the phone, TK. If you want to fix this, you need to have that conversation in person.”_

“Do you think it _can_ be fixed?”

 _“I don’t know, man. You’ve_ **_both_ ** _hurt one another and you have a lot to sort out, but even if you can’t fix it, Carlos deserves an apology in person.”_

TK sighed but knew that Paul was right. “I don’t know if I’m ready to come home just yet, Paul. It’s not just the Carlos thing either, there’s a lot of other stuff going on.”

_“You think it’s gonna help your cause if you keep seeing this guy?”_

The protectiveness flared up again. “What I do with Buck isn’t anyone’s business but my own.”

_“Until you plaster it across Instagram.”_

“I get it, I fucked up, okay. I know that was wrong, but what Buck and I have between us, it’s what’s stopping me from going out and finding a dealer, or getting a drink. If that’s how I stay sober, then so be it.”

_“Look, I get that, alright, I do - you do what you have to do to stay on the wagon. I’m just concerned that you’re trading one destructive behaviour for another.”_

“It’s not like that with Buck and I. This isn’t destructive -”

 _“To_ **_you,_ ** _you mean,” Paul interjected._

“Yeah, to me. It’s not destructive to _me._ Buck is a sweet guy and he cares about me. We’re really good friends and that’s all we’ll ever be, since he’s going through his own shit as well, but if we can take comfort from one another then we will.”

 _“But treating Carlos like this,_ **_that’s_ ** _destructive behaviour, man. You said it yourself, it’s your thing.”_

“I need some time to get my head straight, Paul. I’m still angry and I’m still hurting. I know I’ve not behaved well but neither has Carlos. I’m not the only one to blame here. I just know that if I tried to sort this out now, it would only go badly.”

_“It’s rarely just one person’s fault, TK. There’s always two sides to every story. Take your time, figure out what you want. Carlos might never feel comfortable telling his parents about you and if you both choose to stay together, you’ll need to accept that.”_

It was a difficult situation to imagine, to know that he’d have to hide a part of himself from the people closest to Carlos, but he wondered how realistic Carlos was being. Whenever they were out for drinks or dinner with the team, Carlos liked everyone to know that TK was ‘his’. He wasn’t subtle when it came to making it known and surely, word would get back to his family eventually, wouldn’t it? Austin wasn’t a massive town by any means, and the likelihood of a family friend, someone from his parent’s congregation, or even Carlos’ parents themselves seeing them together was high. What did Carlos expect to happen then? He supposed that these were all things that he would have to eventually speak to Carlos about.

TK heard a key in the lock and then the front door slamming shut and he peered around to see Buck kicking off his shoes, his face downcast. “Paul, I gotta go. Thanks heaps for being a voice of reason.”

_“Anytime, man. You take care of yourself. We miss you here.”_

“I’ll be home before you know it. Bye.” He ended the call and hurried up from the couch and over to where Buck was now leaning with his hands braced on the island bench, his whole body trembling. “Buck? What happened?” he asked.

Buck looked up at him with red rimmed eyes and shook his head. “I don’t want to talk about it,” he said.

“That’s okay, we don’t have to,” TK assured him. “Tell me what you need. What can I do?”

Buck’s lip trembled and in a shaky voice he asked, “Could you just hold me? I just want to go to bed and feel your arms around me.”

TK brushed a curl off Buck’s forehead and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. “Of course we can. Come on, let’s go to bed.” He took Buck’s hand in his and led him up to the loft, knowing that he needed the comfort just as much as Buck did. They both had a lot to think about.

* * *

Eddie had just gotten home from dropping Christopher off at school when his phone pinged with a message. 

_Ana: Good morning, querido_ 😘

He stared at the screen, unease growing in his gut. They’d been on two dates, wasn’t it way too early for good morning text messages and pet names? He’d been so distracted at dinner the other night that he was certain that he’d not given off any vibes suggesting that he thought that this would become serious. He really was rusty when it came to dating, with Shannon being the only person that he’d ever properly dated (and that was fresh out of high school) so maybe things had changed since then? Still, he really didn’t think that it was appropriate at this point in time, so he simply ignored the message, deciding that he’d deal with it later.

He’d put a load of washing in the dryer before leaving for school and from the silence he knew that it was done so he pulled it all into a basket and then went into the living room and started to fold it. Of course, one of the first things he pulled out was one of Buck’s hoodies that he’d left here the last time he’d crashed on the couch after a late night. Eddie sat down heavily on the couch, cradling the hoodie in his hands, and tried to sort out the tumultuous feelings that he now had for his best friend.

What the hell was going on? Was he having a sexuality crisis in his early thirties? He’d never even looked at a guy before and all of a sudden he couldn’t stop thinking of Buck in compromising positions. He’d tossed and turned all last night, unable to sleep after Buck had stormed from the house after their argument and when he _had_ finally drifted off, he’d woken hard and aching with a dream of Buck naked and writhing beneath him lingering in his mind. 

Needing to get it sorted, he pulled out his phone and typed into Google ‘hot guys’. Image after image appeared and they all seemed to be that Hollywood stereotype - beefy, beautiful men with washboard abs, huge biceps, and chiseled jaws. Which, if he was being honest, Buck fit to a T. Eddie scrolled through the images, waiting to see if he would have some kind of reaction to them but the more he saw, the less he felt. He could tell that they were _objectively_ good looking, but he didn’t want to drop to his knees for any of them either.

He closed the browser and opened up his gallery instead, swiping down until he came across photos of Buck (it didn’t take long at all - he didn’t realise how many photos he had of him). In absolutely _none_ of the photos did Buck look like a male model. He was dressed in everyday clothes, in most he was either making funny faces or laughing at something that Christopher had said, and in some of them, the photos had been taken at unflattering angles. Yet the more that Eddie looked, the more full his heart felt and the tighter his pants got.

It finally dawned on him.

He wasn’t bisexual but _Buck_ sexual. 

And he was in love with him.

Eddie stood and went into the kitchen. It might have been only a little after 9am but he was way too sober for this kind of epiphany. He bypassed the fridge, knowing that beer wasn’t going to be much help, and pulled down his bottle of good whisky and a glass. He poured in two fingers and downed them in one swallow, then poured another two and took it back to the couch. The washing sat, abandoned, beside him as he sipped his whisky and pondered his predicament.

So, he wasn’t as straight as he’d thought he was. He thought that he should be more freaked out by that fact than he was. It wasn’t so much that he cared what anyone thought about him, it was more that people would ask questions and prod him for information and since he was a very private person, that didn’t sit well with him. Unless his friendship with Buck evolved, this was a moot point anyway, since it wasn’t like he was interested in running off with the first guy that he saw.

The question was - did Buck feel the same way about him? The more he thought about it, the more Eddie was positive that Buck did. Or at least had. Their banter bordered on flirty most days and the fact that Buck chose to spend most of his free time with Eddie and his kid? Normal single guys in their late twenties didn’t do that, did they? The warm way that Buck looked at Eddie was also starting to take on a new meaning now.

But had Eddie missed his chance? Buck seemed pretty into TK, despite claiming that they were just friends and that it would end once TK returned to Austin. Even if this were so, Buck might not _want_ anything with Eddie anymore. But how would Eddie know unless he made a move on Buck?

His phone buzzed again and he saw that it was yet another message from Ana.

 _Ana: Been thinking about you constantly. When can we get together again? I was thinking maybe you could come round to my place so we could be alone?_ 😏

He knew what he had to do and after a brief internal debate, he took the coward’s way out and decided to tell her over text.

_Eddie: I’m sorry, Ana, you’re great but I just don’t see this working between us. I’m just not ready for anything more with you. You’re a wonderful person and I’m sure you’ll find someone who can give you more than me. I wish you the best of luck and every happiness in life._

As soon as he’d sent it, a weight lifted off his shoulders that he hadn’t realised was there. He let out a deep breath and he could suddenly _feel_ the possibilities spread out before him. 

His phone buzzed again.

_Ana: I see. I was wondering when I’d lose out to him. Bye, Eddie._

He stared at the text for a long moment, not needing any clarification to know that ‘him’ was Buck. It appeared that he wasn’t the only one who had figured out that Eddie was Bucksexual. Then, horror dawned on him as he realised that apart from Buck, he was probably the last one to know. 

He was _never_ going to hear the end of it from Hen and Chim.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! There’s nothing more satisfying as an author than to see readers having really strong emotional reactions to my fics. It tells me that I’m writing well, that I’m able to get the reader so ensconced in the situation I’ve put my characters in that they’re willing to write really long comments explaining how they feel one of the characters is wrong or right or stupid or hurting.
> 
> Can I just say though, just because it’s my story, that isn’t to say that I agree or disagree with what the characters are doing (I can usually see both sides of the story in fact which helps me write about it). I love the comments but please keep them relevant to the characters and the story, not personal attacks on me. I've deleted a few comments so far and I'll continue to do it but having to read comments like those is actually really demotivating (which means you'll have no story to write passionate comments about).
> 
> A huge huge thanks to everyone else though, your enthusiasm and passion for this story had absolutely blown me away. I seriously never expected this story to have so much engagement. Much, much love to you all xxx


	5. Chapter 5

“Okay, how do you want me to play this?”

Carlos looked at Michelle in confusion. “What do you mean?”

She handed him a beer bottle and flopped down onto the couch next to him. He leaned in against her shoulder, and they sipped their beer. “Well, Carlos,” she said, knocking her head gently against his, “this can go one of two ways. I can be all ‘he’s an asshole and we hate him’ and then help you to come up with the perfect way to make his life hell from now on out _or -”_

“Not that one!” Carlos said, not even needing to hear the second option but knowing that he would never do anything to deliberately hurt TK.

 _“Or,”_ Michelle said, ignoring his interruption, “I can be the supportive best friend and help you come up with a plan to get back with him.”

“Why is it that I have the sinking feeling that no matter which plan I chose, it would probably get me arrested?”

She shrugged. “Most of my plans end with getting arrested. If it ain’t broke, why fix it?” she grinned at him, making him laugh.

“I don’t think the officer arresting me will be anywhere near as understanding as the officer who arrested you most of the time.”

She turned a little and leaned her head on her hand, giving him her warm smile. “I guess that makes me super lucky then, huh? To have been arrested by Nice Cop.”

He clinked his bottle against hers. “Yes it does,” he told her, then drank deeply.

“Seriously though, Carlos, what do you want to do?” she asked. “I feel like this might be one of those uncrossable lines that he's crossed.”

He sighed and slumped even further down on the couch. “Honestly? I want to go back in time and never have gone to that stupid market in the first place. I want nothing to have changed. I _miss_ him.”

“Well, I’ll just go get my T.A.R.D.I.S, it’s parked round the back.”

“Smartass,” he muttered.

She rubbed his arm. “Carlos, you can’t change what’s happened, and neither can TK. You can only go forward. But that doesn't mean that the past won’t affect your future. Can you honestly say that you’d be able to forgive him for what he’s done?”

“And what exactly is it that he’s done, Michelle?” he asked, trying to find some clarity. “Because he hasn’t cheated, because we’re not together. He hasn’t broken any laws.”

“But has he broken your heart?” she asked.

“Cracked it a little,” Carlos admitted, “but nothing that can’t be fixed.”

“So you think you can just slap some super glue on it and it’ll fix everything?”

“I don't know! I’m not going to lie, when I saw his posts, I was devastated. I thought my heart _had_ broken, but when I calmed down and actually gave it some thought, I realised something.”

She waited as he took another sip of his beer but when he still didn't say anything, trying to gather his thoughts, she said, “And?”

“Michelle, TK isn’t a malicious person. He’s sweet and insecure and has been treated pretty badly in the past. If I look past _what_ he did and try to think of _why_ he did it, well, I guess I can see that he did what he did because he’s hurt.”

“I did what I did to Dustin because I was hurt and I still ended up with a restraining order,” she commented.

Carlos ignored her. “I’m not saying that I can simply forgive him for what he did, it would take a lot of work. What I’m saying is that there was a reason he was such a dick, and just as I had _my_ reasons for not telling my parents about him, his reasons are just as valid.”

“Have you been watching Doctor Phil?” she asked with a smirk.

“Oh, shut up,” he said, bumping her shoulder with his. “You’re the worst best friend ever.”

Michelle smiled. “You still love me.”

“Yeah, I do.”

“And you still love him,” she stated.

Carlos sighed. “Yeah.”

She turned serious. “When you phoned me yesterday, you sounded _broken,_ Carlos. I was worried sick about you.”

“I know, I’m sorry. I was just a little raw.”

“More than a little. I just want you to be really sure before we do anything. I can’t bear to see you like that again.”

“We both made mistakes, Michelle, and we’ve both hurt each other. I just think that what TK and I have - had - is worth fighting for. I’ve never been good at fighting for what I want but I want to try. I want to find out if he wants to try again, to make this work.”

“Alright then,” she said in a decisive tone. “Give me your phone.”

“Um, why?”

She gave him an arch look. “Because, dummy - we’re booking you a flight to LA.”

* * *

Buck stood at the kitchen sink, finishing the few dishes that were from the late lunch he'd make himself and TK when they got back from a morning of sightseeing. They’d woken early that morning, still wrapped in each other’s arms but it only took one look for them to know that the flames of passion had died down between them. They still craved comfort from the other, and were more affectionate than most friends were (though Buck recognised that those lines were blurred with Eddie as well) but neither were inclined to continue a sexual relationship with the other. So they’d headed out early to miss the traffic and to show TK some of the well known tourist traps in LA.

He was just drying his hands when his phone rang and he saw that it was Hen. “Hey,” he answered.

_“Hey, Buckaroo. Have you heard from Eddie today?”_

“Um, no. Why?”

_“He was picking up some overtime tonight and his abuela was supposed to be looking after Christopher but she’s got a cold so she can’t. His tia is busy, and he’s tried Bobby, May, Chim and Maddie, and now me but none of us are free. I asked what you were doing and he got all squirrely. So he didn't ask you?”_

Buck groaned. “No, he hasn’t. We had a bit of an argument the other night and I think he’s trying to give me space.”

_“I figured something must have happened since you never say no to spending time with Chris.”_

“I’ll give him a call, tell him to drop him here for the night. Thanks for letting me know, Hen.”

_“No worries, Buck. You know you can talk to me if you need to, yeah? About anything.”_

“I do, thanks, Hen.”

_“Okay, have fun with Chris. Bye.”_

As soon as the call disconnected, Buck was calling Eddie. He sounded cautious as he answered. _“Hey.”_

“Eddie, Hen told me that you need someone to look after Christopher tonight,” he said, not beating around the bush. “I’m free. Drop him off here on your way in.”

_“I figured you’d be busy with TK…”_

He sighed. “It’s not like that with us anymore, okay. But yeah, he’ll probably be here too so if you don’t feel comfortable then don’t worry about it, I just wanted to offer.”

Eddie hesitated and Buck knew that he must be out of options. _“I just don’t want to confuse him,”_ Eddie admitted softly.

“I told you, we’re just friends now, okay. Christopher isn’t going to see anything hinky because there’ll be nothing to see.”

_“What changed?”_

“Just stuff,” he said, evasively.

_“Look, Buck, I need to...you know what, nevermind. I will take you up on your offer to watch Chris, thanks. He’s gonna be excited to have a sleepover at your place. It’s his favourite thing in the world.”_

“It’s also _my_ favourite thing in the world so it works out well.”

_“Alright, thanks. I’ll see you in a couple of hours then.”_

“See you then.” He ended the call and went through to the living room. “Christopher is going to have a sleepover tonight,” he told TK. “Eddie’s doing some overtime.”

TK nodded. “Sure, I’ll grab a hotel for the night.”

“You don't have to do that, Eddie knows you’ll be here. If you don’t mind, I’ll set you up on the couch though, and Chris can stay with me.”

“Of course, man. I’m looking forward to meeting him, but only if Eddie is okay with it.”

“I guess we’ll see how he is when he drops Christopher off.”

Buck was a bundle of nerves as the time grew closer to drop off. He’d expected Eddie to simply let himself in with the key so when he knocked instead, Buck jumped half a foot in the air. He hurried over to the door and flung it open. 

“Buck!” Christopher cried, and shuffled forward for a hug.

“Hey, superman, how’s it going?”

“Good, I _love_ sleepovers!”

“We’re going to have so much fun. Why don’t you take your bag inside for me?”

“Uh huh. Bye dad!”

“Bye, mijo. Be good,” Eddie said and pressed a kiss to his cheek. 

Buck waited until Christopher was out of hearing range and asked, “Do you not have your key?”

Eddie flushed a little and wasn’t quite able to meet Buck’s eyes. “I didn't know what we’d walk in on.”

“Eddie, I told you this morning, it’s not like that anymore.”

“Forgive me for being skeptical, but that changed awfully quickly, Buck.”

“Because neither of us felt like it anymore.”

“Oh? And why is that?”

He sighed and glanced over at the clock in the kitchen. “I’d love to tell you, Eddie - I’ve been meaning to talk to you anyway, but you’re going to be late.”

Eddie nodded and turned to go but stopped and glared at something over Buck’s shoulder. He turned to see TK standing there awkwardly.

“Uh, hi,” TK said, giving Eddie a small wave.

“TK,” Eddie said curtly.

“Um, I just wanted to make sure that you were okay with me being here. I can go if you want.”

“Buck made it perfectly clear that you were a package deal,” Eddie said, his whole face a blank mask. “It’s fine.” He looked at Buck and added, “I’ll see you in the morning when I pick him up.”

Buck watched as Eddie walked down the hallway, his stomach churning at the mere thought of the wall that Eddie had thrown up between them. Not wanting to make the same mistakes as the past, he hurried after him and grabbed his arm just as he reached the stairwell. “Eddie, wait!”

“You said it yourself, Buck - I’m going to be late,” Eddie told him quietly.

“I know, I just wanted to, well,” and he cut himself off and leaned forward to pull Eddie into a tight hug. 

“What’s this for?” Eddie asked, but Buck noticed how he was clinging to him.

“Just because I miss you,” he said, “and I’m sorry for storming out on you the other night instead of talking it out with you.”

Eddie hugged him even tighter. “I’m sorry that I upset you, I didn't mean to. You know I’m always here for you, yeah?”

“I do,” Buck whispered, then reluctantly let go. “You’d better get going.”

Eddie nodded but before he left, he ducked forward and pressed a soft kiss to Buck’s lips. Then he was gone, leaving Buck standing there, stunned, wondering if he’d imagined what had just happened. He reached up and touched his lips that were still tingling from the kiss.

No, it had been real.

* * *

TK stood several feet away from the small boy, who was looking at him warily. He looked back, just as warily. Then in the blunt manner typical of children, Christopher asked, “Who are you?”

“I’m TK,” he said. “You must be Christopher.”

Christopher didn't confirm that, just asked, “What are you doing here?”

“I’m in town visiting Buck. He’s my friend. I’m a firefighter like him and your dad.”

“Do you like the Lego movies?”

He nodded in earnest. “Yes, yes I do.”

“Okay.” Christopher made his way to the couch and set his backpack down, then climbed up and picked up the remote, quickly finding the first Lego movie in the Favourites tab. He looked over at TK as if to ask ‘well, what are you waiting for?’. TK shrugged and joined him on the couch. 

Buck joined them not long after, sitting on the opposite end of the couch with Christopher in the middle, who wasted no time in cheering that they were watching the Lego movie. Buck grinned at Christopher but his eyes were a little wild. TK raised a brow at him. _What’s up?_

Buck’s face scrunched up, an adorable mix of confusion and - was that happiness? He waved a hand around his head which told TK absolutely nothing.

TK frowned and gave a small shake of his head. _I have no idea what that means._

Buck was a little more animated this time and opened his eyes really wide and then tapped his lip.

TK rolled his eyes and shook his head again. What the hell was that supposed to mean.

Christopher sat, oblivious between them, caught up in the _Everything is Awesome_ song.

Buck pulled out his phone and started typing and soon TK’s phone vibrated in his pocket. He gave Buck a look as if to say, _Really? We’re really doing this?_ but fished his phone out anyway.

_Buck: Eddie just kissed me!_

It was TK's turn for his eyes to go as wide as saucers. He looked between Buck and his phone a couple of times before he quickly replied. 

_TK: What the fuck, dude? Context, I NEED context!_

_Buck: We were both apologising for the other night and I had hugged him and then he said he was always there for me and then he just kissed me before he left._

_TK: Holy shit, that’s so exciting! Okay, describe the kiss._

Buck rolled his eyes and over the top of Christopher’s head made a kissy face.

_TK: Brat. Seriously, dude, how long did it last? Was there tongue? I need all the goss!_

_Buck: It was just a peck really, but it was full on the lips, not like he was going for my cheek and missed._

_TK: Holy crap, that’s awesome._

_Buck: What do you think it means?_

TK gave Buck an incredulous look. 

_TK: Really? You honestly have absolutely no idea what it could POSSIBLY mean that your best friend just kissed you?_

_Buck: I don’t need your sarcasm, I need your help!_

TK reached over Christopher’s head and rubbed Buck’s shoulder briefly before texting him again.

_TK: It means he LIKES you, dumbass._

_Buck: I thought I was Dumbasser?_

_TK: Don’t make me come over there and smack you._

_Buck: Christopher would protect me._

_TK: We’re talking about this more once the kid’s asleep._

_Buck: Is that a threat?_

_TK: No, it’s a promise._

_Buck: You’re a good friend, TK._

_TK: So are you, Buck._

They shared a smile and then finally let their phones drop to their laps and they turned to focus on the movie.

* * *

Eddie had been jittery all night. Luckily it wasn’t a busy shift, and most of the C team gathered around the table to play cards when they weren’t getting some sleep in the bunk. Eddie didn’t know them all that well, even though he’d worked with them a few times. He was too busy panicking to join them for poker, so he hid away in the bunk room so he would have some privacy for his freak out.

He’d kissed Buck. With no explanation. Then he’d just left.

What the hell had he done?

He’d taken a chance, is what he’d done, but he wasn’t as brave as people thought he was because he had run away right after so he wouldn’t have to see Buck’s reaction. Sure, they’d both said that they needed to talk, but Eddie wasn't sure what Buck needed to talk about. He should have waited, so they had time to figure it out, but even though Buck had said that he and TK weren’t sleeping together anymore, Eddie was worried that he might not get another chance. He didn't want to miss his one and only chance so he’d taken it. 

Buck hadn't punched him at least. From the brief glimpse that Eddie had gotten of him, he’d looked too stunned to do much of anything but to be fair, Eddie was running before Buck had much of a chance to gather his senses. But that was just typical Eddie - he’d run away to Afghanistan, and then signed up for another tour instead of coming home to his wife and baby. He'd run away to LA, away from his parents and their judgements. He’d run away to an underground street fighting ring instead of finding a healthier way to deal with his anger and his pain. Now he’d run away from Buck, too scared to face a possible rejection. 

But he couldn’t run forever and sooner or later he was going to have to face Buck. Given that his kid was at Buck’s place, it was definitely _sooner._ Crap, how awkward was it going to make picking Chris up? He rolled over in the bunk and buried his face in the pillow, He was so fucking stupid, why the hell did he not think this through? They needed to talk but he didn’t want to do it with Christopher present in case it went wrong (or in case it went _right)._ Maybe he could ask Buck to come round to his place once he’d dropped Christopher off at school? Yeah, that could work.

He rolled over and punched at his pillow, hating how lumpy they were here. If he wanted to be coherent tomorrow while talking with Buck, he needed to get at least _some_ sleep tonight. Eventually he managed to drift off and for once, luck was on his side, and they didn't get a call out.

* * *

Eddie was just finishing rolling up a hose, counting down the minutes until his shift ended when he looked up to see a man wandering into the station. He stood and wiped his hands on his pants, then went to see what the guy needed.

He was handsome and well built, and the duffel over one shoulder made the material of his shirt strain as his bicep popped. He looked exhausted, with dark circles under his warm brown eyes but he still offered Eddie a smile as he approached. He looked vaguely familiar. “Can I help you?” Eddie asked.

“Uh, I hope so. I’m looking for Buck?” He didn’t sound certain.

Then it all clicked into place. Eddie had seen photos of this guy on Marjan’s Insta from when they’d had a team night out. “Let me guess, you’re not so much looking for Buck as you are for TK?”

He looked wary but nodded. “Actually, yeah, I am.”

Eddie held out his hand. “You must be Carlos. I’m Eddie.” They shook and Eddie said, “I’m off in fifteen minutes and then I can take you to him, but maybe we could talk on the way?”

Carlos regarded him for a long moment but then nodded. “Sure, man, if you want.”

Eddie clapped him on the shoulder. Today was going to be interesting.


	6. Chapter 6

Carlos threw his duffel in the back of the shiny pickup truck before getting into the passenger seat. Eddie climbed in, and he watched him furtively as they began to drive. He looked to be in his early thirties, definitely ex-military by the way he carried himself, and he was broad and solid. There was a warmth to his hazel eyes though and Carlos found himself feeling at ease in Eddie’s presence. A little of the tension that he’d been carrying for days bled from his shoulders and he sank a little more comfortably into the seat.

He was a little surprised at how smoothly things were flowing for him, considering the harebrained scheme that Michelle had talked him into. Normally Carlos wouldn’t even _think_ of booking a last minute redeye flight from Austin to LA with no accommodation booked, no contacts in place, just the number of a firehouse where the guy his ex was sleeping with worked. But it had all slotted into place. His boss had been eager to grant him leave since he had quite a lot accrued. There had been copious seats available on the flight since people weren’t travelling much due to the pandemic. He’d grabbed an uber from the airport to the firehouse and immediately had run into Eddie. Not only did Eddie know who Carlos was _actually_ looking for, but he knew where TK was. 

He had to admit, even if just to himself, that he’d questioned his decision to come to LA numerous times during the three hour flight. Even though he was certain in himself that he wanted to try again with TK, that he would be able to work through the hurt and betrayal and put it behind him, he wasn’t sure if TK would want that. He hadn’t phoned or even messaged to find out if he’d be welcome here, just allowed Michelle to bully him into booking the flight and assuring him that he’d figure it all out when he got here.

The fact that everything was going so smoothly? His tia would tell him that it was fate at work, that it was meant to be. He wasn’t quite sure if he’d go that far but it _did_ kind of feel like a good omen that all of his ducks were lining up. 

“So, when did you get in?” Eddie asked, breaking the silence.

“About an hour ago,” Carlos told him. “I came right from the airport. Do you know TK?” he asked.

Eddie shrugged. “Not well. I worked with him a little when we were in Texas but I don’t follow him on social media or anything and I’ve seen him for a grand total of about two minutes since he’s been here.”

“I envy you,” Carlos told him.

“Oh? Why?”

“The whole ‘you don’t follow him on social media’ thing.”

Eddie grimaced. “I don’t follow him but I _do_ follow Buck.”

“So, forgive me if this is too blunt, but what’s your connection to all of this?”

Eddie drummed his fingers on the steering wheel as he pulled up at a red light. “Buck’s my best friend, but this whole thing has kind of made me realise that I want more with him.” He paused and then blurted out, “I kissed him yesterday.” 

Carlos got the feeling that he hadn’t told anyone else that little tidbit. “This Buck fellow seems to get around,” Carlos muttered, feeling bitter.

“To be fair, Buck told me that he and TK weren’t sleeping together anymore,” Eddie said, a little defensively. "I knew that before I kissed him."

Carlos ran a hand through his hair. “You know what, that wasn’t fair of me. I don’t know Buck and I really have no reason to judge him. Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Eddie said, waving off his apology. “Hen told me that you and TK recently broke up from what she could gather, so this has to be pretty shitty for you.”

“Hen? Oh, wait, she also came down to Texas, didn't she? TK told me that she got stuck in the mineshaft with his dad.” 

“So it’s true, then? You guys broke up?”

“Yeah, a few weeks ago.”

“How are you feeling about all of this then? Must be pretty tough.”

Carlos nodded and turned to look out the window, watching the heavy traffic around them. “It’s not been easy. I guess I just have to remember that everything that’s happened here has been while we’ve been broken up. I can’t hold it against TK if he’s slept with people while we’re not together.”

“No,” Eddie said, “but it wasn’t exactly nice, splashing that shit across Insta.”

“It wasn’t the worst I’ve seen,” Carlos said. 

Eddie couldn’t dispute that - some of the posts that came up on his ‘Recommended’ feed made him feel like a dirty old man. “Still, given that you’re emotionally invested…”

“At the end of the day, I love TK and if he’s open to it, I want to try again. We’ve got a lot of shit to talk about but I know that step one is figuring out if I can handle the fact that he’s been with someone else since me.”

“And can you?” Eddie asked, seeming at ease with talking about such a personal subject with someone he’d only just met. 

He took a moment to gather his thoughts before he spoke. “TK’s it for me, I’ve known this for ages. I can’t see myself with anyone else but him. I want to grow old with him, have a family with him, buy a shitty campervan and go and be grey nomads together when we retire. These weeks apart have just reinforced that for me. He was with other people before me, hell he _proposed_ to his last boyfriend, and yet he still loves me. What he had with them doesn't negate what we have with one another. It’ll be the same now. Whatever he shared with Buck doesn't mean that when he’s with me, he’s not _with_ me wholeheartedly.”

“That’s a rather mature way to look at it,” Eddie complimented.

“I’m not a blushing virgin or a teenage girl,” Carlos drawled. “I might not have been around every block in the city but I’ve been around enough to know how to respect people’s previous relationships.”

“I hope it works out for you, man,” Eddie told him sincerely.

“Thanks. So, what about you? Reading between the lines I figure that your feelings for Buck are a pretty big deal.”

Eddie huffed out a laugh. “You could say that, since up until a couple of days ago I honestly thought that I was straight.”

“Wow. So what changed?”

“I was jealous and I couldn't figure out why. I’d seen Buck with a semi-serious girlfriend before but everyone else he’d been with kind of happened before I came along. I’d gotten used to spending all my spare time with him, he’s practically a part of the family at this point. My son _adores_ him.”

“So when TK showed up and you weren’t the sole focus of his attention…”

Eddie nodded. “Yeah, it was killing me but I couldn’t see the reason for it. I even began to think that I might have been homophobic but that didn't make any sense since we’ve got gay friends and I don't think twice about their sexuality.”

“Sounds similar to how I figured out that I was gay,” Carlos told him. “I was in highschool and one of my good friends got a girlfriend and I was so mad at him. It took me a while to realise that I was so angry because I wanted it to be _me_ he was dating, not Natalie Russel.”

“The thing is, I don’t think that I’m attracted to other guys or anything so I don’t even think I’m bisexual. It’s just Buck. It’s weird.”

“There are more than just three sexualities, Eddie,” Carlos told him. “If you’re really interested in putting a label on it, I’d suggest that when you get some spare time you look them up. I think you might find that something else will feel right.”

“Oh? Like what?”

Carlos shrugged. “Almost sounds demisexual to me.”

 _“Demisexual?”_ Eddie asked. “What the hell is that? Wait, demi means like partial, doesn't it? How does that work?”

“It’s when you only have a sexual attraction to someone that you share an emotional bond with.”

He watched Eddie’s face as he processed this, seeing the exact moment that things clicked into place for him. “Well, fuck. That explains a _whole_ lot,” he muttered.

“The world isn’t quite as black and white as you thought, huh?”

“It never is, man, it never is.”

“So, where are we going?” Carlos asked, knowing that he should have enquired earlier.

“Um, we’re going to Buck’s place.”

Carlos bit his lip and looked down at his lap. “TK’s been staying with him?”

“Yeah.”

“I see.”

“They babysat my kid last night, since my abuela couldn’t.”

Carlos gave him an incredulous look. “And you were okay with that?”

Eddie shrugged. “Why wouldn’t I be? I mean, Buck assured me that there was nothing going on between him and TK anymore and even if there was, Buck would never do anything while Christopher was with him.”

“But you were okay with him staying somewhere with a complete stranger?” It was probably rude to question him but Eddie struck Carlos as a protective father and he wasn't putting two and two together.

Eddie furrowed his brows. “It’s not like I just left him alone with TK. Besides, he’s not a total stranger - Buck trusts him so I trust him too.” 

He shook his head. “You are one heck of a guy, Eddie, you know that? I mean, I know TK would never do anything to hurt a kid but still, to just be okay with it because your friend knows him?”

“Not just my friend, my best friend.” Eddie gave a sad smile, his eyes still on the road. “Did you know that Buck saved Christopher during the tsunami last year? He’s always looking out for him, but he also enables Chrisopher’s independence. He basically co-parents him with me and there’s no one else that I trust more with Christopher than Buck. TK could be a serial killer and I’d still trust Buck to keep Christopher safe. I have nothing to worry about so long as they’re together.”

Carlos felt awed at the sheer amount of love and belief in Eddie’s voice when he spoke about Buck and it made the resentment that he felt under the surface towards Buck fade a little. He sounded like a great guy and in any other circumstances, he’d probably get along well with him. “If it makes you feel better, TK _isn’t_ a serial killer,” he said.

Eddie laughed. “Thanks.”

They drove in silence for a few minutes, both lost in their own thoughts. Soon they were pulling up into a parking lot outside of a nice looking apartment building. Eddie used a code to get them through the door and into the building, moving confidently like he was often there, leading Carlos up several flights of stairs instead of waiting for the elevator. Carlos figured that he probably was there regularly if they were best friends. He wasn't at all surprised when Eddie pulled out a key to the door that he stopped in front of. “You ready?” Eddie asked.

Carlos took a deep breath and nodded. “Yeah, I am.”

Eddie gave him a smile and then knocked on the door before unlocking it and pushing it open. 

“Eddie, that you?” a voice called from within the apartment.

“Yeah it’s me,” he replied, “and I’ve bought a friend.”

A tall blonde man that Carlos recognised from the photos came into view with a cute kid with a head full of crazy curls but he barely spared them a glance, his eyes seeking out one person and one person only.

“Carlos?” TK asked, his voice shaky and his eyes wide.

“Hey babe,” Carlos said. “Mind if we talk?”

* * *

Eddie watched Carlos and TK stare at each other and the silence in the apartment began to stretch out. Luckily it was broken by Christopher before it could become uncomfortable, who shuffled forward and threw his arms around Eddie’s legs. “Daddy!”

“Hey, buddie, how are you?” Eddie asked, kneeling down to give Christopher a big hug.

“Good,” Christopher said, throwing his head back with a huge grin. “Buck made pancakes!”

“Oh, he did, did he?” Eddie asked, looking up at Buck and instantly regretting it since he’d been imagining being on his knees in front of Buck for two days straight now and those really weren’t the sorts of thoughts that he should be having while his son was there.

“I did,” Buck said, giving him a shy smile. “I also saved some for you so you can have breakfast when you get home.”

Warmth bloomed in his chest at how thoughtful Buck was and he returned the smile as he got to his feet. “Thanks.”

“So, I packed him some lunch, his teeth are brushed, his homework is all done, and his clothes from yesterday are in a separate plastic bag so he’s all ready for school.”

“Oh, wow, thanks.”

Buck grinned. “No worries.”

Eddie glanced towards the other two men and noticed how they were just gazing at one another, and he hooked a thumb over his shoulder at the door. “I guess we should be off.” He swallowed and dredged up some courage from wherever it was hiding within him. “Um, maybe you could come round after I drop Chris off at school? So we can, uh, talk.”

Buck blushed and he ducked his head. “I’d like that,” he said.

“Okay, well I guess I’ll see you soon then. I won’t need to go home first since you were so organised getting Chris ready so I’ll drop him straight there. I’ll probably be maybe half an hour.”

Buck nodded and then stepped forward and gave Christopher a big hug. “Bye, superman, have an awesome day at school.”

“Bye, Buck, thanks for the sleepover!”

“Anytime.”

“Bye, TK!” Christopher said, beaming up at him. “It was nice meeting you.”

TK looked shocked but he grinned and held out his hand for Chris to shake. “Likewise. It was a pleasure.”

Christopher giggled and shook his hand then with one last wave, he headed for the door. Eddie paused and looked at Carlos, telling him, “Good luck,” then with a nod to TK and one final look to Buck, he stepped out into the hall, Christopher in front of him. As the door swung closed, he caught a glimpse of the three men inside looking at one another and he was glad that he got out of there when he did. He had a feeling that things were going to get awkward, fast.


	7. Chapter 7

It felt like TK’s entire heart was in his throat as he stared at Carlos, wondering if this was a dream or some kind of hallucination. Carlos was here, in LA. Had he come for him? Or was he here for some other reason? At that very moment it didn’t matter, TK just drank in the sight of him like he’d been lost in the desert for weeks and Carlos was a tall drink of water. Longing rose up in him and he wanted to offer his very soul just to have those hands on him again, to feel those strong arms wrapped around him. 

Carlos’ expression was carefully blank, the way he always tended to close off when he was feeling vulnerable or exposed. It cut TK deep to be the cause for that mask but he couldn’t blame Carlos for being cautious, not after the way that he’d acted and the things that he’d done. All he wanted to do was to fix it, to make the mask drop away, to make Carlos feel safe enough to do just that.

He just wasn’t sure if he could.

“Um, so, you must be, uh, you must be Carlos,” Buck said, awkwardly offering out a hand.

Carlos turned to Buck, the only change to his blank expression was the slight raising of his brows. He did not extend his own hand.

Buck let his hand drop and he drummed his fingers on his thighs. “Right, okay then. Um, you know what? I think I’m just going to head out, and I’ll uh, just go straight to Eddie’s. You two should talk, I guess.”

TK nodded. “Thanks, Buck.”

He ducked his head. “Anytime. Take as long as you need, I’ll stay away till you message me.”

Buck pocketed his phone and wallet then grabbed his keys and made for the door. He paused and looked back at them. “I really hope you two can work it out. I’m rooting for you both.” Then he was gone.

Silence fell over the apartment and TK and Carlos just continued to stare at one another. TK wondered if Carlos would make the first move or if he should but then he realised that Carlos had _already_ made the first move - he’d flown to LA. He took a deep breath then let it out slowly, trying to calm his nerves, then he held out his hand towards the living room. “Did you want to sit?”

Carlos nodded. “Sure.”

TK led him over to the couch and winced as he saw the bedding that he’d used the night before still strewn out across it. “Crap, sorry, I didn’t get a chance to fold this up this morning.” He hurried to pull the blanket to him and hastily folded it, then ditched the messy bundle on the armchair. The pillows followed. “Right, okay, empty couch, please sit.” He sat but as soon as Carlos joined him, perching on the edge of the cushions, he jumped to his feet. “Shit, sorry, I should probably get you a drink. Coffee maybe? Did you just fly in now? You probably haven’t had breakfast yet let alone a coffee, that’s so rude of me, I think there’s still some in the pot from earlier, I’ll go and get you some right now and I’m sure I can find something for you to ea -”

“TK,” Carlos said softly, cutting through his babble, a hand coming up to grasp his wrist. “It’s okay, I don’t need coffee or food.”

TK nodded and sank back down onto the cushions. “Right.” He ran a hand through his hair and gave Carlos a nervous smile. “It’s good to see you. I, um, I missed you.”

“It sure looked like it,” Carlos remarked.

He winced. “I know you have every right to say that, to not believe me, but it’s the truth.”

Carlos’ jaw worked and he looked away for a moment and then all the fight seemed to go out of him and he slumped against the backrest. He rubbed at his eyes for a moment and then his hands dropped to his lap and he met TK’s eyes. “I missed you, too,” he admitted and it made a small beacon of hope bloom in TK’s chest. 

“You did?”

“God, TK, of _course_ I missed you! These past few weeks have been terrible.”

“I’m sorry!” TK blurted, unable to keep it in a second longer. “I know I fucked up, this is all my fault. If I wasn’t so insecure it wouldn’t have hit me so hard when we saw your parents and I would have acted more rationally.” His breaths came faster in gasps and his whole body began to shake as his eyes welled over. “I’m sorry that I blew it out of proportion, I should never have broken up with you over something so stupid! I hurt you so badly and I’m so sorry for that, it’s all my fault, I was so stupid, so so stupid, fuck, I’m so sorry, it's all my fault and I don't blame you if you hate me, I'm so sorry.”

Carlos held up a hand to halt his words. “TK, take a breath. Look, we both have things to apologise for, and there’s a lot we need to talk about, but we can’t do that if you end up having an anxiety attack. Just breathe for me, okay. Can you do that?”

He nodded, his chest heaving and Carlos rubbed gentle circles on his back, encouraging him to calm down.

“That’s better,” Carlos cooed. “You’re doing great, babe. In and out, just like that.”

Eventually that edge of panic receded and although he was still shaky, the worst had passed. He gave Carlos a wobbly smile and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. “Sorry.”

“God, babe, you’re a damn mess without me, aren’t you?”

His lower lip trembled even as TK managed a small laugh. “Just a bit.”

Carlos moved his hand from TK’s back up to his neck and gave it a gentle squeeze. “I guess it’s lucky for you that I’m here with you now, huh?”

TK bit his lip and looked away, not wanting to look at Carlos as he asked the question that was sitting heavy in the pit of his stomach. “Are you back for good?” he asked in a small voice.

“That depends.”

“There’s nothing going on between Buck and I anymore, we stopped all that,” he hurried to assure him.

Carlos sighed. “While that’s good to know, that’s not what this all hinges on.”

“Oh?”

“TK, do _you_ want to get back together?” Carlos asked.

He turned on the couch and looked at him front on, eyes wide. “Are you serious, Carlos?”

“I understand that maybe I should have asked this before I jumped on a plane and followed you all the way here, but I’d hope that that alone would demonstrate just how serious I am.”

“Of _course_ I want to get back together!” he cried. “It’s all I’ve wanted all along!”

“Forgive me if I’m wrong, but you sleeping with another guy didn't exactly give me that impression.”

“What? That wasn’t the reaction we were wanting you to have!”

Carlos frowned. “What do you mean?”

TK paused, suddenly wary. “Um...what do you mean what do I mean?”

“Don’t be evasive, TK,” Carlos said sternly. “Are you saying that there was a particular reaction that you wanted me to have when you posted those photos? One that wasn’t ‘who needs Carlos when I have Buck’s dick?’”

“Um, kind of the opposite actually.”

“That doesn't make any sense.”

“It did! On the night, when we hatched the plan it made total sense!” TK realised that he wasn't doing a great job of explaining himself when Carlos rolled his eyes and threw his hands in the air.

“What plan?” he cried. “What plan could there possibly be that involves both getting back with me _and_ sleeping with another guy?”

“The one where you see what great partners we can be and how much you miss having us around and then you and Eddie realise what you’re missing out on so you decide that you want to take us back! Well, you take me back, and Eddie decides that he wants to be with Buck.”

Carlos stared at him, mouth agape. He tried to speak but the words didn't come, his mouth just opened and closed like a fish. Then, to TK’s complete surprise, he burst out laughing. He laughed until tears streamed down his face. He laughed until he was gasping for air and ended up snorting instead. He laughed so long that TK began to get annoyed.

“What the hell is so damn funny?” TK demanded.

“That, that plan...oh God, it’s so...seriously, you...how?” And Carlos was laughing again.

It took several minutes for him to calm down and when he finally stopped, TK just harrumphed at him. 

“Come on, babe, don’t be like that,” Carlos said, wiping tears from his eyes.

“Are you quite _done_ now?” TK asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

“For now, but I can’t guarantee that I won’t laugh about it again later,” Carlos told him.

“I really didn't think you’d find this funny,” TK said, knowing that he was pouting but quite unable to stop.

“Come on, TK - that was literally the most ridiculous and poorly thought out plan in the world! Two monkeys smashing on a keyboard could have come up with a better plan. I mean, what’s next? You’re going to try to convert the world to veganism by eating only meat? Or maybe you’ll protest climate change by driving across the country in your gas guzzling V12 monster truck?”

“It wasn’t that stupid!”

Carlos grasped his hands, his lips still twitching. “Oh, baby, yes, it was, it really was.” 

“Yeah, well, it kinda worked,” TK grumbled, trying to defend himself and Buck. “It made Eddie realise that he has feelings for Buck and he’s on his way over there and they’re probably going to kiss and cuddle and live happily ever after.”

“Are you jealous?” Carlos asked carefully.

TK gave him a stern look. “If you’re asking if I’m jealous that Eddie gets Buck, no, I’m not. Buck is my _friend,_ Carlos, nothing more. He was alone and hurting as much as I was and we were there for one another but I’m not interested in him like that. If you mean am I jealous that they’ll get their happy ending, then...maybe? Because we’re not really at that point yet.”

“But you want us to be?”

“Yes! There’s nothing I want more! I know we have to talk and we have so much to work out but if you’re willing to give us another try then so am I.”

“I just need to be sure, TK,” Carlos said, toying with their twined fingers. “You broke it off and you left, so I need to be really _sure_ that this is what you want. I don’t know how I would handle it if you did it again.”

“Look, I can’t promise that we’re going to be together forever because no one can do that,” TK said, as earnestly as possible. “What I _will_ promise is that instead of running, next time I’ll be there to talk it out, to work through it. I might need some time to cool off first so I’m thinking clearly, but I promise to talk with you.”

“I know I hurt you, TK,” Carlos told him. “I understand that you were upset, and I don’t blame you for leaving. I hate that you did, but I don’t _blame_ you.”

“I never should have left,” TK said. “Having said that, being here has given me some perspective. Not just about how much you mean to me but also about how silly labels can be. Look, if you don’t want to tell your parents that we’re together, then it’s okay. You don’t have to call me your boyfriend - tell them I’m your friend, your colleague, even your personal shopper. It doesn’t matter, because at the end of the day, _we_ know what we are to one another and that’s all that matters.”

“As much as I appreciate that, babe, it’s not _all_ that matters though,” Carlos argued. “TK, you’ve told me about your past, I know how much you struggle with your insecurities. I should have given you the heads up about my parents, should have told you that I didn't feel comfortable telling them that you’re my boyfriend, and for that I’m truly sorry.” He lifted their joined hands and pressed a kiss to TK’s knuckles. 

“You don’t need to apologise, Carlos. I should have been more understanding.”

“Can I make a suggestion?” Carlos asked.

“Of course.”

“Look, we’ve both apologised; we both acknowledge that we hurt one another; we both want to try again. How about we draw a line in the sand, make the decision to just move forward from now?”

“You could do that? Forget about how much I hurt you with those stupid posts and just put it behind you?” TK asked in a small voice.

“Can _you_ forget about how much I hurt you by making you feel invisible and like you didn't matter by not telling my parents about you?” Carlos countered.

“Of course I can, I’ve already moved on from there.”

Carlos smiled at him and reached up to cup TK’s cheek. “And the minute I saw you today I knew that it didn’t matter what happened these past weeks, I just want to be with you again.”

TK returned the smile, his eyes watering once more. “If you’re sure, then I’m sure.”

“I love you, TK. I haven’t stopped loving you. I’ve never _been_ more sure.”

“I love you too,” TK told him, throwing himself forward into Carlos’ arms. 

They sat there, wrapped around each other, both simply enjoying the feeling of being with each other one again. Carlos pressed kisses to TK’s hair and TK pressed his nose against Carlos’ throat, inhaling deeply. It felt so right, like the world was aligning once again, or the final piece of a puzzle was slotting into place. It felt like _home._

“How did you get time off work at such late notice?” TK asked after a while.

He felt Carlos shrug. “My captain was happy to give me the time, since I rarely take time off.”

“How long did he give you?”

“A week.”

TK looked up at him from beneath his lashes. “What a coincidence, I’ve still got a week of leave too.”

Carlos grinned. “How would you feel about doing some sightseeing together?”

“You mean stick around in LA?”

“I’ve never had a chance to explore here before. We could get a hotel together, visit the beach, spend some time getting reacquainted…”

“I’d really like that,” TK breathed, leaning their foreheads together.

“Maybe when we get home we could have dinner with my parents?” Carlos suggested. 

“I told you, I’m fine with you not telling them, Carlos. Don’t do anything that makes you uncomfortable.”

“I’m not going to tell them,” Carlos said, “because they already know.”

TK frowned. “How?”

“They guessed when they saw us at the market that day.”

“And they’re okay with it?”

“Yeah, they are. They want to meet you, and I really want you to meet them.”

TK ducked forward and pressed a kiss to Carlos’ lips, then moved to pepper his whole face with kisses. 

Carlos chuckled. “I assume you don’t mind?”

“I can’t wait to meet them,” TK assured him. “Thank you, Carlos.”

“I love you, TK.”

“I love you, too. Thank you, for coming for me.”

“Always,” Carlos said gently. 

TK leaned forward again, back into Carlos’ embrace and his eyes fell closed. His whole body relaxed and as he listened to the comforting sound of his boyfriend’s heartbeat, he knew that there was nowhere else that he wanted to be.


	8. Chapter 8

Eddie felt a little bad at the way that he’d hightailed it out of Buck’s apartment, abandoning him to deal with the potentially awkward situation that could unfold there. He really _did_ need to get Christopher to school though, so it’s not like he could have lingered. However the potential for the situation to get out of hand was too high for him to risk his son being exposed to the sorts of drama that was common on the soap operas that Abuela watched.

He really did hope that Carlos and TK would be able to work things out, and not only because he wanted to be sure that Buck and TK didn’t end up getting together. Carlos seemed like a really nice guy, sensitive and sweet, and he deserved to be happy. If pushed, Eddie would even admit that TK was an okay guy - he’d seemed nice enough when he’d worked with him in Texas, if a little high strung. Considering that his dad was missing along with Hen, Eddie couldn’t blame him for being out of sorts and his single minded determination wouldn’t be out of place at the 118. If they could find their happiness together, then he wished them the best of luck.

As he pulled onto his street he saw Buck’s truck pulling into his driveway. He’d obviously not stuck around for long. Eddie followed him in, parking next to Buck and as they both climbed out of their cars, the wrapped plate of pancakes in his hand, he glanced at Buck’s face, making sure that there were no bruises or other signs of violence. He didn’t _think_ that Carlos would be the type of person to lash out in a jealous rage but really, Eddie barely knew him. He was glad to see that his initial assessment had been correct and that Buck wasn’t hurt.

Buck held up a tray of coffees in greeting and Eddie smiled at him. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“Yeah, nah I really did,” Buck said with a grimace. 

Eddie laughed and led them inside. “You made it out alive, I see.”

“Barely.”

“Do you think they’ll work things out?”

“I hope so,” Buck said. “Carlos makes TK happy and I want him to be happy. He’s been through so much, he deserves a happy ending.”

Eddie threw his keys on the hall table and then led Buck through to the kitchen. “You really are good friends with him, aren’t you?”

Buck sat down at the table and pushed one of the coffees across to Eddie then took a sip of his own. His tone was careful as he asked, “Does it bother you that I have other friends?”

“God, no, _no!_ Of course not, Buck.”

“Does it bother you that I’m friends with TK?”

Eddie shook his head but wasn’t quite as convincing as he said, “No.”

“Because I have to say, Eddie, that if we start something between us, if we explore whatever that kiss meant, I can’t, I _won’t_ have you tell me who I can and can’t be friends with. I saw how devastating that was to Maddie with Doug, how much he isolated her and I promised myself I’d never stay in a relationship like that.”

Eddie was horrified. “Fuck, Buck, how could you even think that I’d do something like that?”

“I don’t,” Buck said, reaching out and touching his hand, “but I also don’t want to start something without being perfectly clear about all the important stuff. That’s a hard limit for me, and if me being friends with someone that I’ve kind of slept with in the past is a hard limit for you, then it’s best that we figure that out before we even begin.”

Eddie frowned. “Kind of slept with?” he asked, confused.

Buck ducked his head and toyed with his cup. “Well, we didn’t actually sleep together, as in have _sex_ sex.”

“Oh...but he posted a photo of you in bed.”

“Yeah, because we slept in the same bed together.” A blush bloomed across his cheeks. “I like to cuddle, and I was lonely so it was nice to fall asleep with someone,” he admitted and Eddie realised that Buck was more embarrassed by this confession than about the actual sexual component. 

Loneliness was obviously something that Buck struggled with, given this comment as well as what he'd said during the argument that they’d had several nights previously. Eddie turned his hand over so he could link his fingers with Buck’s and he squeezed gently. “I’ll _never_ dictate to you who you can or can’t be friends with, Buck and I’ll do everything I can to make sure that you’re never lonely again. I want to be there for you, each and every day. I want to be the one that you turn to and the one that you run to. I want to laugh with you and cry with you. I want _you,_ Buck.”

“What changed?” Buck asked. “Because, I might be wrong, but you didn’t seem interested in me that way before.”

Eddie sighed. “I guess it was the age old adage of ‘you don’t know what you have until it’s gone’. I saw you with TK and it really affected me but it took me a little while to figure out that I didn't have a problem with you being with another man; I had a problem that that man wasn’t _me._ I’m sorry it took me so long to figure it out.”

“I guess our plan worked then,” Buck said.

Eddie arched a brow. “Plan?”

“Ah, yeah, it was a pretty crappy plan I guess. We figured that if we posted to Insta we might trigger the possessiveness in both you and Carlos and you’d come to claim what was yours.”

“Possessiveness? I’m not possessive!” Eddie protested.

Buck just stared at him. “Mmmhmm.”

Eddie scowled. “Okay, fine, maybe I’m a _little_ possessive.” He tapped his lower lip, then asked in his most seductive tone, “So, does that mean that you’re mine?”

Buck rolled his eyes. “Eddie, I’ve _always_ been yours. From the minute you walked into the 118, there’s been no one else for me.”

Eddie nodded and pushed his chair back, standing up. “Good. Come on.” He held out his hand.

“What? You need to have your breakfast, you haven’t eaten yet.”

“I don’t care about that, come on.”

Buck frowned but took Eddie’s hand and stood. “Where are we going?”

Eddie stepped into his space and crashed their lips together, holding Buck’s cheeks between his hands so he could control the kiss. Buck moaned and allowed Eddie to push his tongue inside his mouth, his large hands fisting Eddie’s shirt in his grip. Eddie felt heady with desire as he allowed himself to kiss Buck the way that he’d been imagining every damn minute lately. The fact that he’d never kissed a man before meant nothing, it felt right, it was perfect. Buck’s lips were plush and pliable beneath his own, and soon he was chasing Eddie’s tongue back into his own mouth. 

Eddie’s hands dropped from Buck’s face, finding the bottom of his shirt and slipping under, trying to find bare skin. He skimmed his fingers over the soft, smooth skin of Buck’s hips and lower back, and he almost lost it as he rested his hands on the very top of the swell of Buck’s ass. Buck turned them and backed Eddie against the kitchen counter, then moved his lips from Eddie’s mouth and started to make his way downwards, kissing, licking, and nipping at his chin, throat, and the junction where neck met shoulder. Eddie let his eyes fall closed and simply let Buck explore, enjoying every second of it. 

Buck pressed his hips against Eddie’s, and whispered, “Fuck, Eds, wanted you for so long.”

Eddie moaned as he felt the hard ridge of Buck’s erection for the first time, more turned on than he’d ever been in his life. “You’ve got me, Buck.”

Buck pulled away and Eddie almost groaned in despair. Buck only grinned and asked, “Did you want to take this to the bedroom? Or are you okay with me blowing you right here in the kitchen?”

“Holy fuck,” Eddie gasped, close to coming from Buck’s words alone, his eyes squeezed shut as he tried to think of totally unsexy things. “I don’t care, whatever you want, just, _please,_ Buck!”

Buck stilled and Eddie opened his eyes, peering up at him, worry churning inside of him. Buck looked serious.

“Did I say something wrong?” Eddie whispered.

“I know that you’ve not done anything like this before. I guess I’m just wondering if we’re going too fast? I shouldn't have suggested taking it to the next level already.”

Eddie shook his head. “Buck, this is all I’ve thought about since I figured out my feelings, of being close to you like this. I _want_ this and I don’t think we’re moving too fast, if you don’t either. You’re right though - I have no idea what I’m doing so I’ll follow your lead.”

Buck regarded him for a long moment and then, seeming to see the truth in Eddie’s words, reached down and palmed him through his jeans. “So you’d be okay with me dropping to my knees for you?”

“Fuck, yes,” Eddie said in a breathy voice. Buck dropped to the ground and Eddie groaned. “Holy fuck, that’s the sexiest thing that I’ve ever seen.

“Likewise,” Buck purred. The way that he was looking up at Eddie, his long lashes fluttering against his cheeks, should have been illegal. 

“Maybe afterwards we could go to the bedroom so I can take my time exploring you?” Eddie suggested. “Then maybe we could take a nap together?”

“I like the way you think.” Buck flicked the button open on Eddie’s jeans and then slowly undid the zipper. 

“Oh, God, I don’t think I’m going to last long,” Eddie warned, even as he sucked in his stomach to help as Buck tugged his jeans and boxers down over his hips.

The way that Buck gazed at Eddie’s cock could only be described as loving. He glanced up and said, “That’s okay, this is only round one afterall,” before he leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss right to the tip.

Eddie wanted to let his head fall back so he could concentrate on the way that Buck’s mouth felt on him but he also didn’t want to miss a second of it either. He decided that this time, their first time, he wanted to watch so he kept his eyes open. Buck moved in even closer, his long, deft fingers circling Eddie’s length in a loose grip at the base and angling him slightly, then he licked around the entire crown like he was licking an ice cream cone, before lapping at the slit and the pool of precome there. 

Unable to keep from touching him, Eddie threaded his fingers into Buck’s hair, marvelling at how thick and silky it was. Buck made a sound of appreciation and then took even more of Eddie’s cock into his mouth. He wasn’t sure if it was because Buck was a man and knew exactly what felt good when getting a blow job, or if he was simply good at it, but everything he did made Eddie’s nerve endings zing. His tongue pressed firmly against Eddie’s frenulum, his grip had tightened around his shaft but not too hard, and his mouth offered the perfect amount of suction.

It had been so long since anyone had touched Eddie like this. Apart from Shannon, he’d only ever been with two other women - his high school sweetheart, and a one night stand that he’d had while out on a night on the town during his Academy days. None of them had made him feel like this, that he was sexy, and powerful, and _wanted._ Shannon had hated giving head, and the few times that she’d gone down on him, she’d always made it feel like it was a chore. Buck seemed to genuinely enjoy it if the small sounds that he was making were any indication. It made the entire thing so much better and Eddie knew that he would never be able to get enough of it. Then Buck pulled almost all the way off and then ducked back down. 

And kept going. 

Eddie shouted as he felt the head of his cock slip past Buck’s teeth and actually into the tight space of his throat. “Holy fucking shit,” he swore, his eyes closing of their own volition. He’d never been deepthroated before, hadn’t ever felt the constriction of throat muscles around him, feeling like being inside a woman but so different at the same time. It wasn’t as warm, and the slick of Buck’s saliva was different to natural lubrication, but it was just as good, hell, even _better,_ but that was probably because it was _Buck._

Eddie forced his eyes open and watched the way Buck’s jaw was stretched to its limit, the way that his chin was damp with excess saliva, and the look of sheer bliss on his face. His heart clenched at the same time that he felt his balls tighten and he tugged at Buck’s hair in warning. “Gonna come,” he panted.

Buck didn't move to pull away, just continued what he was doing and his words from the start of the week echoed in Eddie’s mind. _“And yeah, Chim, I_ **_do_ ** _swallow.”_

“Fuck!” Eddie cried and then he was spilling into Buck’s mouth and Buck was swallowing, his throat milking Eddie’s cock for all it was worth. His orgasm felt like it went on and on and on and when the final shudders ran through his body, he felt like a puppet with his strings cut. He slumped back against the kitchen counter, trying to keep himself upright whilst ignoring the way that the edge was digging into his back. “Holy shit.”

Buck was gently licking him clean and he rocked back on his heels and beamed up at Eddie. “Was that okay?”

“Are you fucking serious right now?” Eddie demanded, and he leaned down and hoisted Buck up by his armpits. “That was by far the best damn blowjob of my entire _life.”_

Buck’s smile turned smug. “Good to know I’ve still got it.”

Eddie batted at his arm and then leaned in for a kiss. “Don’t let it go to your head. Now, if I recall, we had plans for me to get your horizontal so I can get my hands on you.”

“By all means, don’t let me get in the way of your plans.”

Eddie laughed and threaded their fingers together, loving the way that Buck’s hand felt in his. They walked hand in hand together to the bedroom and Buck wasted no time in stripping out of his clothes, standing unashamedly naked as he waited for Eddie to join him. Once he’d closed his jaw and managed to stop ogling Buck’s perfectly sculptured physique, Eddie hurried to kick off his own jeans and tear off his shirt. “Bed. Now,” he ordered hoarsely.

Buck was happy to comply and he fell back on the bed, bouncing slightly on the mattress as he got comfortable. Eddie found that he was mesmerised by the way that Buck’s erection bounced along with the rest of his body, slapping his stomach obscenely. He may not have been with another man before, but Eddie was a medic and he’d been in the army - he’d seen his share of penises before. He therefore _knew_ that Buck was bigger than average. _Much_ bigger than average. His cock was long and thick and curved slightly to the right and it left Eddie’s emotions in an absolute jumble - he was at once turned on, excited, and also terrified out of his mind. What the hell did he even _do_ with it?

“Eddie,” Buck said softly, drawing his attention away from his dick. “Don’t worry about that for now,” he said, easily reading his panic. “Just get over here and kiss me.”

“Okay, yeah, I can do that,” he said and climbed up on the bed next to Buck. He leaned over and brushed their noses together before kissing Buck softly. They got lost in the kiss for a few minutes, both content to simply hold one another as their lips slid over one another’s. 

When they finally broke apart, Buck stroked Eddie’s cheek tenderly and asked, “You okay?”

“Yeah, I am,” Eddie assured him.

“I know this is all new to you, so we don’t have to do anything that you don’t want to do, Eds. We’ve got time, there’s no need to rush. I don’t want you freaking out about this.”

“I’m a firefighter, Buck,” Eddie said with more confidence than he felt, “I know my way around a fire hose.”

Buck snorted. “I’m sure you do.”

Here went nothing. Eddie slid down the bed, trailing his fingers along every inch of Buck that he could. He stopped with his face around Buck’s midriff, and took his time tracing over each tattoo with his fingers, then following the path with his tongue. He smoothed his palms down over the rock hard abs, feeling the muscle ripple beneath the skin as he inadvertently found ticklish spots. He nosed at the hairless skin beneath Buck’s belly button and wondered briefly if he waxed, then decided that it didn't matter because he found himself up close and personal with Buck’s erection and that took up all of his attention.

Eddie had never given much thought to the attractiveness of men’s genitals. He didn’t spend a lot of time actually looking at his own, and whenever he’d watched porn he’d been more focussed on the woman. Buck’s cock was _nice._ And big, there was no denying that, but it was also aesthetically pleasing. If there was such a thing as a penis model, Buck could have a successful career and Eddie almost laughed out loud at that thought before he stopped himself. He knew that if someone started laughing when they were that close to his own dick, he’d get extremely self conscious. To prevent himself from thinking anymore about International Penis Models and what sort of fashion shows they’d participate in, he ducked forward and licked a stripe up the length of Buck’s cock. 

“Eddie!” Buck gasped in a strangled voice.

He wanted Buck to make that noise again so he licked his lips to get them nice and wet and then sucked the crown into his mouth. 

“Jesus fucking Christ, I did not expect you to do that!” Buck cried.

Eddie just hummed happily and continued to explore Buck’s cock with his mouth. He couldn’t fit much in and his jaw soon got sore, and so he eventually just used his hand to jack him off, licking the shaft every now and then to keep it slippery. Buck was doing his best to stay still but every now and then his hips would buck in an aborted thrust, fucking into Eddie’s fist. 

After another lick for good measure, Eddie continued jerking him but moved his mouth up to kiss along the delicious V of Buck’s hips. He stopped at a random spot that was just as delicious as an inch either side and he began to suck, worrying at the skin there, turning the pale skin a lovely shade of purple. 

“Oh, shit, Eddie!” Buck grunted and he felt his cock twitch and thick spurts of come painted Eddie’s jaw and Buck’s stomach. Eddie worked him through the aftershocks, then awkwardly wiped his hand on the bedspread before shuffling back up the mattress. 

Gay sex was _messy._

Buck opened his arms and Eddie gratefully fell into his embrace, snuggling up to him whilst also avoiding the wet patch on Buck’s stomach. “Should clean you up,” he murmured, his nose pressed against Buck’s throat.

Buck kissed Eddie’s temple. “Eh, later. Cuddles now.”

His eyes already growing heavy, Eddie didn’t have it in him to protest. Everything about being in Buck’s arms felt right and it wasn’t long before they were both deep asleep. They didn't let go of each other once.

**Author's Note:**

> [I'm on Tumblr](https://scarletmanuka1.tumblr.com/), come scream at me if you want. I'm a multi-ship blog, so it's not just these boys but they are my current hyperfixation.


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